Angelina Jolie

  1. Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls, 1994.  Joe Eszterhas interviewed 50-plus exotic dancers  and, aided by Hawaiian weed, came up with All About Eve in Vegas. And Pamela Anderson, Angelina Jolie, Denise Richards, Charlize Theron and the inevitable unknown, Vanessa Marcil (too shy for nudity) fled his sexy heroine, Nomi Malone.Jenny McCarthy was favourite, except she couldn’t dance. Producer Charles Evans then found Elizabeth Berkley, from Saved by the Bell. In one of its 2018 It Happened in Hollywoodpodcasts, Hollywood Reporter took unseemly delight in reporting she agreed to audition in his New York hotel room – even adding that “after being blown away by her performance,” he convinced Paul Verhoeven to give her a shot. Unable to land his dream mix of Madonna and Drew Barrymore as the 90s Bette Davis and Anne Baxter,the Dutch director decided to create his own star. He failed – andruined Berkley’s career. “If somebody has to be blamed, it should be me because I asked Elizabeth to be abrupt in that way because her character had a history of drug abuse, so I tried to express that through her abruptness.”  So Richards won Verhoven’s next flop,Starship Troopers, 1997, and not Berkley. She never made another A-List film since Woody Allen’s The Curse of the Jade Scorpion in 2001, yet survived on TV: CSI: Miami, Law & Order, The L Word.
  2. Kate Winslet, Titanic, 1996. 
  3. Winona Ryder, Alien: Resurrection, 1996.    “I’ll do it! I’ll do it ! I don’t even care if I die in the first scene.”  Ryder on wanting to be Annalee Call, working with her idol, Sigourney Weaver – and boasting about being in an Alien movie to her younger siblings. Jolie and Michelle Yeoh were less enthusiastic!
  4. Sharon Stone, The Muse, 1999.      Albert Brooks was delighted with La Jolie as his (literal) muse. However, Scott Greenstein, co-chief of “the new Miramax,” October Films, chargedaround like his old Miramax boss and left noStone unturned.
  5. Helena Bonham Carter, Fight Club, 1999.      Also considered to beopposite Brad Pitt: Courtney Love, Winona Ryder, Reese Witherspoon. Pitt and Jolie – Oscar-winner Jon Voight’s Oscar-winning daughter – were to meet, mate and start a family in the next century.
  6. Carrie-Anne Moss, Memento, 1999.    Director Christopher Nolan got stuck in the J pages when trying to locate the best Natalie: Jolie, Famke Janssen, Ashley Judd.He then whetted his thumb and flicked to M…
  7. Lucy Liu, Charlie’s Angels, 2000.     Columbia’s chairperson of the hour, Amy Pascal, called her “a female James Dean for our time.” And promptly blew it by begging her to join the summer frolic. “I didn’t see the TV series and I don’t get dressed up.” With an Oscar under her belt, she became a solo angel: Tomb Raider Lara Croft.
  8. Jodie Foster,  Panic Room, 2001. After 18 days, Kidman had to leave the titular space due to a  knee injury. Jolie was run up the flagpole but considered  too young  to have  an 11-year-old daughter. When Foster rushes to the rescue, her usual price is altering her role…So, Kidman’s original icy Hitchcockian blonde became  a grittier  political, action-Mom. In 2006, Jodie  changed the Brave One heroine  from newspaper reporter – “not compelling in terms of the narrative” – to… radio reporter! 
  9. Catherine Zeta-Jones, Chicago, 2002.
  10. Diane Lane, Unfaithful, 2001. For his passionate US update of Madame Bovary, UK director Adrian Lyne saw six potential husbands, three lovers… And as many as 15 cheating wives: Lane, Jolie, Josie Davis, Kristin Davis, Portia de Rossi, Jodie Foster, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jennifer Lopez, Alyssa Milano, Meg Ryan, Kyra Sedgwick, Brooke Shields, Tori Spelling, Hilary Swank, Kate Winslet.  

  11. Michelle Peiffer, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, 2002.   In the DreamWorks voicing mix for Eris were Jessia Alba, 21, Angelina Jolie, 27, and Christina Ricci, 22 – and the winning outsider was Pfeiffer at age 44…!  She wanetd it to please her kids. Sssh, listen…  who’s that talking!

  12. Queen Latifah, Bringing Down The House, 2003.      Jason Filardi had written what was then for Adam Sandler and Angelina.   She co-starrwed with Latifah  in The Bone Collector, 1999.

  13. Nicole Kidman, Bewitched, 2004.
    For inexplicable reasons, Hollywood kept trying to make a movie out of the  1968-1972 ABC sitcom about a good-looking witch and a Dagwood husband.  In 1993, Penny Marshall was going to direct Meryl Streep as Samantha, then passed the reins to Ted Bissell and he died in 1996 when his Richard Curtis script was planned as Melanie Griffths’ comeback.  Nora Ephron co-wrote and directed this lumbering version about an ego-driven actor trying to save his career with a Bewitched re-hash, but with the emphasis on him (of course) as Darrin, rather than the unknown he chose for Samatha because she can wiggle her nose…  (You didn’t need a nose to know it stank).  Over the years, 37 other ladies were on the Samantha wish-list. Take a deep breath… Kate Beckinsale, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Connelly, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Angelina Jolie, Ashley Judd, Julianne Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michelle Pfeiffer, Molly Ringwald, Meg Ryan, Winona Ryder, Brooke Shields, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Renee Zellweger.  Plus seven Oscar-winners:  Kim Basinger, Tatum O’Neal, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Hilary Swank, Charlize Theron, Reese Witherspoon… twoFriends: Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow…eleven other TV stars: Christina Applegate, Patricia Arquette, Kristin Davis, Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Helen Hunt, Jenny McCarthy, Alyssa Milano, Brittany Murphy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alicia Silverstone… even  Drew Barrymore and Uma Thurman, who had already re-kindled Charlie’s Angels and The Avengers.

  14. Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada, 2005.   Sixteen other women  were up for Vogue editor Anna Wintour (er, Miranda Priestley!) in the delightful look at the real fashion world, based on the  tell-all  by Lauren Weisberger,  who used to work for Wintour (but claimed it wasn’t  about her!  Seven only had the wherewithall to match Meryl Streep:  Jennifer Aniston, Glenn Close (fed up of villains), Angelina Jolie, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helen Mirren, Julia Roberts and Hilary Swank. “Sinfully funny, deliciously glossy,” said Rolling Stone critic Peter Travers. “Streep knocks every laugh out of the park More remarkably, she humanises a character who was little more than a bitch… on the page.” The  remaining what-were-they-thinking candidates had been Kim Basinger, Cameron  Diaz, Heather Graham, Lisa Kudrow, Tatum O’Neal, Gwyneth Paltrow, Meg Ryan, Alicia Silverstone and  Naomi Watts.
  15. Eva Green, Casino Royale2005.
  16. Asia Argento, Marie Antoinette, 2005.      La Jolie spurned Sofia Coppola’s Madame Du Barry to be Matt Damon’s wife in Robert De Niro’s pet directing project: The Good Shepherd.  Italian horrorsmith Dario Argento’s daughter wasthe fourth such directorial kin in the line-up. Francis Coppola’s Sofia also directed John Boorman’s Katrine and John Huston’s Danny.
  17. Scarlett Johansson, Iron Man 2,  2009.      Scarlett proved her commitment to becoming Natalie Rushman aka Natalie Romanoff aka Black Widow – by dying her blonde tresses… scarlett. Those who did not included two Jessicas (Alba and Biel), plus Gemma Arterton, Emily Blunt, Eliza Dushku. Plus Angelina Jolie, who led Marvel’s The Eternals, 2019, after Natalie Portman won Jane Foster in the Thor franchise.
  18. Cate Blanchett, Robin Hood, 2009.    Well, Robin was an Aussie, too – Russell Crowe. Sienna Miller won the maid, er widow Marion (sic)  from several candidates: Scarlett, Emily Blunt, Zooey Deschanel, Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Saoirse Ronan.Then, Sienna dropped out and a whole new search began… among Blanchett, Rachel Weisz and Kate Winslet.  Director Ridley Scoltt said the only Sherwood movie he thought was any good was… Mel Brooks’ Robin Hood: Men in Tights, 1993.
  19. Carla Gugino, Sucker Punch, 2009.    Director Zack Snyder aimed (too high?) for La Jolie to be the the shrink and/or  choreographer (!) known as Madam Gorski following Emily Browning’s Baby Doll in three differing worlds , er,  levels of consciousness. Yeah, that kinda movie. He must have been more than satisfied with Gugino.  I know I was…
  20. Ashley Jensen, Gnomeo and Juliet, 2010.    Jolie, Tina Fey and  Nicki Minaj were also in the mix for the Scottish frog (aka Nurse) in this red vblue garden gnomes’ take on Shakespeare  (voiced by Patrick Stewart)  with, of course, producer Elton John’s songbook – Benny and the Jets, , Rocketman, Your Song, et al.Bard jokes included  the As U Like It moving company… and houses numbered (but you’re ahead of mer)  2B and Not 2B.

  21. Taylor Schilling, Atlas Shrugged: Part 12010.
  22. Charlize Theron, Prometheus, 2011.    Among the season’s usual testees chasing Ridley Scott’s (is it?/it isn’t/ oh yes, it is) Alien prequel – Angie and Michelle Yeoh were short listed for the icy Meredith Vickers.
  23. Charlize Theron, Snow White and the Huntsman, 2011.     When Jolie rejected the first of two revisionist Ms Whites that year, Theron quit Clint Eastwood’s J Edgar to grab the evil Queen Ravenna. And still found time for Ridley Scott’s Prometheus oppodsite Michel Fassbender, once short-listed  for the Hunstman.
  24. Jennifer Lawrence, The Silver Linings Playbook, 2012.   Jolie and Mark Wahlberg, in LA talk, were orbiting the property. She changed her orbit; he quit, too. Then, director David O Russell decided to test Lawrence while she was filming The Hunger Games in North Carolina. “There were other big name actresses that were really very good and Harvey [Weinstein] and I thought she was too young. She Skyped from her parents’ house. And, it just seemed like there was no discussion to be had. There was just something about her that was… unparalleled. One of those stop-the-presses kinda things.” And she won the best actress Oscar.
  25. Jennifer Lawrence, Serena, 2012.       Darren Aronofsky directing Jolie as the “beautiful, wounded and mad for trees” wife of Bradley Cooper’s 1920s’ lumber king became a disaster when Danish Suzanne Bier helmed Lawrence and Cooper – and taking 18 months to deliver her first cut! Then again the novelist was called Hash. Ron Hash. Hollywood Reporter critic Stephen Dalton csaid it had ione flaw: “difficult to believe a single word of it, still less to care about these relentlessly selfish and short-sighted characters.”
  26. Sandra Bullock, Gravity, 2012.   Once Jolie passed (twice), they all wanted the 3D sf special written by Mexican director Alfonso Cuaron and his son, Jonas –Abbie Cornish, Marion Cotillard, Rebecca Hall, Salma Hayek, Scarl;ette Johansson, Blake Lively, Sienna Miller, Casey Mulligan, Natalie Portman, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Olivia Wilde… Because the female astronaut is alone on-screen for most of the movie. (Sorry about that, George Clooney).
  27. Cameron Diaz, The Counselor, 2012.   Mrs Pitt spurned Ridley Scott’s Cormac McCarthy’s script. Mr Pitt did not, staying aboard with Mr and Mrs Javier Bardem (Penelope Cruz) and Michael Fassbender. (Diaz’s accumulated 2011 salaries totalled $34m).
  28. Eva Green, Sin City: A Dame To Kill For, 2013.     Ava Lord in Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez’ Sin City sequel was written for Jolie with 14 back-ups: Green, Amy Adams, Elizabeth Banks, Kate Beckinsale, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Salma Hayek, Elizabeth Hurley, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose McGowan, Sofia Vergara, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams.  Variety critic Justin Chang was unmoved by the movie. “Rare indeed is the movie that features this many bared breasts, pummeled crotches and severed noggins and still leaves you checking your watch every 10 minutes.”
  29. Scarlett Johansson, Lucy, 2013.    Paris auteur Luc Beson’s first choice, was the jolie Jolie. When she had to quit,   Scarlett took over.
  30. Eva Green, Sin City: A Dame To Kill For, 2014.     Jolie, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose McGowan, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams were all up for the dame in question. Ava.

  31. Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman, 2015.   On Warner shelves for a full decade (not helped by David Kelley’s disastrous 2011 TVersion), spinning through numerous directors, the demi-goddess daughter of Zeus, eventually became the Israeli Gadot. “Very different,” she said, “from the experienced, super-confident, grown-up woman” she’d teaser-trailed that year in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, 2015.  Her rivals for the DC Extended Universe included Mischa Barton, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Rachel Bilson, Sandra Bullock in 2001 (and for the 2011 tele-film), Bollywood’s Priyanka Chopra in 2006, US wrestling star Chyna, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Eva Green, Mad Men’s busty Christina Hendricks (Nicolas Winding Refn’s 2011 choice), Angelina Jolie in 2001 (ten years later she was asked to direct), Cobie Smulders (WW’s voice in The Lego Movie, 2013), Kristen Stewart. The final trio, auditioning in November 2013, were  Olga Kurylenko, Elodie Yung and… Gadot. 
  32. Gal Gadot, Keeping Up With The Joneses, 2015. They used to be the Smiths… The married assasins, Mr and Mrs Smith, were Scott Bakula and Maria Bello in a 1996-1997 series that begat the hit 2004  film introducing Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie The Joneses script was to be their  sequel, but  the now wed Pitts passed (via the divorce court). Therefore, the Smiths returned to the tube as Martin Henderson and Jordana Brewster. That failed but led to this film calling them Jones – Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot. A dormousey couple, Zach Galifianakis and Isla Fisher, are shocked to find their neighbours are, well, Mr and Mrs Bond! These Gaffneys were not unlike Fisher’s husband, Sacha Baron Cohen, in The Brothers Grimsby, 2015. as the gormless brother of an 007is spy.   Gadot‘s Mrs was called Diane until someone rpointed out that was Wonder Woman’s name!
  33. Michelle Pfeiffer, Murder on the Orient Express, 2017.  Jolle and Charlize Theron were first up for Mrs Caroline Hubbard. Fox boss Stacey Snider bounced Jolie for insisting on significant script changes on a relatively small part.”  Pfeiffer had already been booked for another Agatha Christie whodunnit – a tune-up of Billy Wilder’s Witness for the Prosecution, by Pfeiffer’s husband, Ally McBeal-etc creator David E Kelley. I tend to do8bt that Michelle’s Cockney would have been any better than that of Marlene  Dietrich in 1956.
  34. Emily Blunt, Mary Poppins Returns, 2017.   When Walt Disney made the first Poppins, he mused over Bette Davis, Angela Lansbury or Mary Martin for Mary but by 1963, he had only one star in mind. Julie Andrews.  For this reboot, Disney suits went through no less than 37 contenders… Two Desperate Housewives:Kristin Davis, Teri Hatcher. Two Friends:Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow. Two Brat Packers: Molly Ringwald, Winona Ryder.  Two of the three authors of The Penis Song: Christina Aplegate, Cameron Diaz. Three sirens: Kim Basinger, Heather Graham Uma Thurman. Four ex-child stars: Drew Barrymore, Alyssa Milano, Tatum O’Neal, Brooke Shields. Ten Oscar-winners: Sandra Bullock, Helen Hunt, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Tatum O‘Neal, Julia Roberts, Hilary Swank, Charlize Theron, Reese Witherspoon, RenéeZellweger. Plus: Patricia Arquette, Melanie Griffith, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Peiffer, Meg Ryan, Alicia Silverstone, Naomi Watts. But just two Brits: Kate Beckinsale  – and the winning Emily.

  35. Jessica Chastain, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, 2017.  Jolie passed on Vuk of the D”Bari race in the tfinal X-Men production at Fox. She was more keen on Bride of Frankenstein… before Universal shelved the project.  James McAvoy (the young Professor X) had suggested both ladies for the shape-shifter. Chastain accepted her first Marvel role (as the shape-shifting Vuk)  after passing up  Maya Hansen in  Iron Man, 2012, and Ant-Man’s Hope Van Dyne in 2014…  finished up with a nomination as Worst Supporting Actress by the Razzies, the Golden Rasberry Awards. The film itself, had the lowest box-office of the franchise. Well, no Wolverine…

  36. Lady Gaga, House of Gucci, 2021.  Ridley Scott’s Succession, Italian Style, had been on many shelves over the years. In one nearly done deal, Maurizio Gucci and his wife, Patrizia Reggiani, were set for Leonardo DiCaprio and Angelina Jolie. Other potentials Patrizias (who ordered  his  murder) were Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman, Margot Robbie, plus two of Scott’s previous leading ladies: Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz. But Gaga had the winning improvisation when making the sign of the cross, saying: “Father, Son and  House of  Gucci.”



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