| “Hello, I’m the Doctor.” Doc Who candidates have included >>> Rowan Atkinson, James Corden, Harrison Ford, Hugh Grant, Rupert Grint, Dennis Hopper, Ben Kingsley, Ian McKellen, Bill Nighy (twice), Peter O’Toole, Daniel Radcliffe, Peter Ustinov, Jason Connery and Eddie Izzard. Pythons Eric Idle, Michael Palin. Bonds: Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan. And… and…Catherine Zeta-Jones <<< |
WANTED: WRIGGLY NOSES |
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| For inexplicable reasons, Hollywood kept trying to make a movie out of Bewitched, the 1968-1972 ABC sitcom about a good-looking witch and a Dagwood husband. In 1993, Penny Marshall was going to direct Meryl Streep as Samantha. Then, a Richard Curtis script was planned as Melanie Griffiths’ comeback. Nora Ephron co-wrote and directed the lumbering 2004 version with poor Nicole Kidman, except it was more about an ego-driven actor trying to save his career with a Bewitched re-hash, with the emphasis on him as Darrin, rather than the unknown he chose for Samantha because she could wriggle her nose… (You didn’t need a nose to know it stank). Over the years, 37 other ladies were on the Samantha wish-list. Take a deep breath… Kate Beckinsale, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Connelly, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Angelina Jolie, Ashley Judd, Julianne Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michelle Pfeiffer, Molly Ringwald, Meg Ryan, Winona Ryder, Brooke Shields, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Renee Zellweger. Plus seven Oscar-winners: Kim Basinger, Tatum O’Neal, Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Hilary Swank, Charlize Theron, Reese Witherspoon… two Friends: Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow… eleven other TV stars: Christina Applegate, Patricia Arquette, Kristin Davis, Teri Hatcher, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Helen Hunt, Jenny McCarthy, Alyssa Milano, Brittany Murphy, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alicia Silverstone… even Drew Barrymore and Uma Thurman, who had already re-kindled Charlie’s Angels and The Avengers. |
IT'S COVIDIOUS |
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| No, not from your streets yesterday but The Hamburg Syndrome - made 41 years ago. |
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| Lockdown. Shockdown. Blockdown. Tik-Tokdown. Yeah, it’s been good… well, interesting. Finally able to catch a few movies I’d missed. From Contagious to Contagion, by way of Carriers and Containment - and that’s just stuff from my A-C drawer. There were more… Two called Virus (one Japanese, the other a lame tele-flck), two more called The Plague (only one from the Albert Camus novel) and three from the same Richard Mathison book, I Am Legend. Plus… Blindness, Domain, The Satan Bug, 28 Days Later, Panic in the Street… They involved such folk as Dustin Hoffman, Sophia Loren, Richard Widmark, Gwyneth Paltrow (as a spreader), even OJ Simpson… There was even a company called Epidemic Films! It produced Ever Since the World Ended… with such rotten acting that the cast must have just learnt they’d tested positive. Plus this Andromeda Strain scene. "By then, the disease could spread into a worldwide epidemic." "It’s because of rash statements like that the President doesn’t trust scientists." Hah! But the Don Trumpolino’s #1 would have to be Carriers with Chris Pine saying: “We’ve got loads of Clorox." |
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ANOTHER SOLO |
DUNE DELAYED |
| I hear tell that Marvel’s Winter Soldier, Sebastian Stan, is favourite for the inevitable film about the young Luke Skywalker. Er, except what the hell did Luke do before he met George Lucas and left the farm - milked cows and had problems with bullies in high school? Anyway, Mark Hamill approves. “He’s more handsome than I am.” | You won’t see Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya in Denis Villeneuve's Dune until next October.. (Not me, I’ve never got Dune, always seemed like a bad Disney sci-fi to me). Chalamet is Paul Atreides, of course, in the re-hash of David Lynch’s 1984 version. After being asked to make it, Lynch confessed: “I thought they said June.” |
ROGUE TWO |
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| For some (like my grandson), Rogue One is the best Star Wars yarn. As in better than the entire franchise. So he’s among the many cheered by the news that Disney has ordered a series based on the film - written by the same Tony Gilroy. It’s all hung on Diego Luna as his Cassian Andor character - backed up by such stalwarts as Alan Tudyk, reprising the android C3... no, K-2350, Kyle Soller and Swedish star Stellan Skarsgård (father of Tarzan and Pennywise!), It’s a prequel (that might wind up as Cassian Andor), so l’ll greatly miss Felicity Jones. However, the Puerto Rico-born Adria Arjona (from Pacific Rim: Uprising with John Boyega, no less) is joining the party. | |
TWO FINGERS' WORTH |
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| When you love movies, you’ll make 'em any way you can. For example, the celebrated nouvelle vague icon, realisateur Claude Chabrol used an inheritance to finance his first movie (Le Beau Serge, 1957). Good thinking! But nothing compared to a Mississippi movie-maker called Donald G Jackson. He produced 48 B-films (Vampire Child, Vampire Blvd, Ghost Taxi, Ghost Baby and, of course, Hell Comes To Frogtown), wrote 43 (some as Maximo T Bird!), directed 40 (who can ever forget his Lingerie Kickboxer?) and acted in 17 - including Legend of the Roller Blade Seven, Rollergator. He helped pay for his 1976 debut, The Demon Lover, with a $8,000 insurance compensation… for losing two fingers in a factory accident! | |
SEAN: THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! |
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| "Ish that my martini...?" Sean Connery quizzes TC at the end of the the first day of From Russia With Love shooting at Pinewood Studios, April 1, 1963. | |
WHOO AH! |
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| Mean Streets almost never happened. "I showed the script to everyone," recalled director Martin Scorsese. "I'd even sent it to Francis Coppola, who passed it on to Al... but I never got an answer." While Roger Corman offered $150,000 if it was made as a blaxploitation flick, Al Pacino fired his agents for losing it. (They also warned him off The Godfather). He called the William Morris agency... "I’m looking for an agent." "What’s your name?" "Al Pacino." "Are you sure?" | |
| Stars missing classics >>> Helena Bonham Carter, Bridget Jones’ Diary… … Errol Flynn, Spartacus… Jean Harlow, King Kong… Dustin Hoffman, Chinatown… Kay Lenz, Annie Hall… Spencer Tracy, The Bridge on the River Kwai… Jean-Louis Trintignant, Last Tango in Paris… Shirley Temple, The Wizard of Oz… and Emma Watson, no less, as Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad <<< | |
Photo ©redits:All The President's Men montage: Reg Oliver, 1976; Deborah Chow: Melinda Sue Gordon, Disney +; Scott Eastwood: Millenium Media, 2019; Effacer l'historique, Wild Bunch, 2020; The Hamburg Syndrome, Filmverlag de Autoren, 1979; Nicole Kidman, Columbia Pictures, 2004; Missouri Breaks, United Artists, 1976; TC sketch: Graham Marsh, 1976; Thunderball: Eon Productions,1965. Orson Welles, London Film Productions, 1948. Rogue One: Lucasfilm Ltd, 2015; Sean & TC: Graham Spiers, 1963; Plus enormous thanks to The Man: Daniel Bouteiller. |
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