Welcome to the Crawley's Casting Calls

ALIAS SMITH AND JONES

	Those married assassins, Mr and Mrs Smith, were Scott Bakula and Maria Bello in a 1996-1997 series that begat the hit 2004 film introducing Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie. That begat a sequel, except the now-wed Pitts passed ... by the divorce court. To keep the kettle warm, the Smiths returned to the tube as Martin Henderson and Jordana Brewster. The series tanked but led to the Brangelina script finally being retitled Keeping Up With The Joneses for Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot. Jim Carrey sussed that Gadot had the best role, so he didn’t marry Isla Fisher as the dormousey couple, shocked to find their neighbours were, well, Mr and Mrs Bond! They were not unlike Fisher’s husband, Sacha Baron Cohen, in The Brothers Grimsby, 2015, as the gormless brother of an 007-ish spy.

WHAT'S UP DOC

Timothee and Elle in A Rainy Day in New York

A Doc Ron run ran.

"Let me do right to all, and wrong no man ..." Dwayne Johnson is still hoping to be Doc Savage. His movie has been on the cards for two years and may not happen for another two. Tele-cowpoke Chuck Connors was to be the first Doc in 1974. However, the rights battle was not settled and as the cast, crew and locations had been paid for, the script was quickly churned into a Western, Ride Beyond Vengeance. (Who's kidding). George Pal later obtained the rights. He chatted up Steve Reeves but signed tele-Tarzan Ron Ely as Lester Dent's heroic adventurer, detective, doctor, explorer, inventor, musician researcher and scientist! Film flopped as did 1991 plans for Arnold, and Chris Hemsworth in 2014. The Rock touts his take as “the world's first superhero” as he was around five years before Superman in the 30s. Incidentally, Doc was once called a superman - and his name happens to be Clark. Ring any bells?

SUPER HEROINES

Now you see her, now you don’t. Margaret Sullavan felt above such trifles as The Invisible Woman in 1939 but Elizabeth Banks is prepping a new version this year. (Perhaps). During the 70s’ run, The Incredible Hulk producer Kenneth Johnson talked about a Hulkette series and I‘m sure that by 2024 or 2025 there will be a female Joker. African-American, Asian, or if we really get there, Martian.

WHEN CASTING IS DAFT

TIME IS NOT ON HIS SIDE

Baltimore Police Sergeant Jay Landsman was rejected for The Wire character based on... Baltimore Police Sergeant Jay Landsman! A year later, he joined the series as Lieutenant Dennis Mello. Jay was also the model for Detective John Munch, played in all variations of Law & Order by Richard Belzer in his signature shades.

Sir Mick had made his 12th movie. Just a cameo. He’s the rich art collector responsible for everything happening in The Burnt Orange Heresy - an art fraud caper. There are bed scenes but Jagger, at 76, is not in them. Elizabeth Debicki’s lover is played, instead by the appropriately named Claes Bang.


SWEET MARILYN She lost Baby Doll, Can-Can, Freud, Harlow. So what! She was sublime in Some Like It Hot.	BEST SELLERS "What role?" "All of them!" said Stanley Kubrick. Sellers never finished this fourth ...	LITTLE SHIRLEY After lavish tests of Shirley Temple for 1949's Little Women, MGM chose Janet Leigh as Meg.	GODPOP Shakespeare icon Laurence Olivier as Mafia Godfather Don Corleone – fuhgeddaboudit!

ALL SHOOK UP

In 1966, Julie Christie won an Oscar for Darling. And a Hollywood rôle eventually played … by Elvis! Most surprising news since I found out that the another Oscar-winner, the French Simone Signoret, nearly played his shrink five years earlier in Wild in the Country. The trouble with Double Trouble was, as per usual, E’s mis-manager, "Colonel" Tom Parker. He routinely rejected anything good - The Defiant Ones, Rio Bravo, West Side Story, Midnight Cowboy, True Grit, A Star Is Born, - but actually approved this pap with The King of Rock singing … Old McDonald Had A Farm!! Co-star Norman Rossington scored his own special double. He's the only actor to film with Elvis and … The Beatles.

DOC HOLLYWOOD

Once upon a time, Hollywood decided to make a Doctor Who film. (Even Spielberg tried to get involved in 1996). The idea was a pilot for a USeries to exhume the BBC science-fiction cult, buried in 1989 after 26 seasons. And who do you think the suits at Universal contemplated for the eighth version of the Beeb’s venerable Time Lord. Oh, just about everybody… Take a deep breath… First, Jim Carrey, Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks. And the co-producing BBC looked at 60 others… from the oldest, Peter O’Toole, 64, to the young New Yorker Scott Weiner, 21.
OK, that leaves 58 others but you don’t want a lengthy scroll of actors, do you? OK, just a few then… Two Bonds: Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan. Two Caligulas: John Hurt, Malcolm McDowell. Two future Game of Throners: Sean Bean, Liam Cunningham. Two brothers: Mark and Paul McGann. But enuff, enuff! I don’t have the space here. You’ll find all the surprises on the Doc’s page in Special Movies. (Russell Crowe, Rutger Hauer, Rob Lowe, Ian McKellen, Eddie Murphy… ) What? Oh, Paul McGann won the role).

TUT, TUT !

Didja know… that for its UK release, the harmless 1948 Hollywood comedy, BF’s Daughter, had to rapidly change its “tastless” and ”disgusting” title to Polly Fulton.

MAY I INTRODUCE YOU TO ...

Susan Hampshire in Swingin' London, circa 1965.

When working as the London correspondent for the French movie magazine, Cinémonde, in the 60s, I introduced Susan Hampshire to her first husband. Without meeting either of them …
A missive from Paris arrived in 1965 asking me to recommend some British blonde actresses for Paris au mois d’aout - Charles Aznavour falling for a lovely Brit visiting Paris in August, when the city is (almost) empty of French people and packed with tourists. I sent over some photos, adding one of Susan at, literally, the last second, as she was no particular favourite of mine. The rest is obvious. She beat Julie Christie, Veronica Carlson, Justine Lord, Edina Ronay and Carol White to the film! Plus the heart of réalisateur Pierre Granier-Deferre. They wed in 1967, had two children and divorced in 1974. Without ever knowing I had a digit in their destiny.

Photo ©redits:

All The President's Men and Godfather montages: Reg Oliver, 1976; Marlon Brando: Paramount Pictures, 1960; Elisabeth Counsell: Eon Productions, 1965; Doc Savage: Warner Bros, 1975; Susan Hampshire: Disney, 1962; Mr and Mrs Smith: 20th Century Fox, 2005; Marilyn Monroe: 20th Century Fox, 1962; Al Pacino: Saban Films, 2017; Eleanor Tomlinson: BBC, 2019; Peter Sellers: Hawk Films/Columbia Pictures, 1963; Shirley Temple: Selznick International Pictures, 1946; TC sketch: Graham Marsh, 1976. Plus enormous thanks to The Man: Daniel Bouteiller.