- Jeannine Riley, Li'l Abner, TV, 1967.
Goldie meets the casting couch... Abner cartoonist Al Capp had guys like Bobby looking out on the street for fresh girls for him. “He’s a national institution,” Bobby said as he invited her to meet Capp, casting his new creation, Tenderleaf Ericcson, in a Li’l pilot. “Al Capp is going to make you a big star,” Bobby told the young dancer at the World’s Fair Texas Pavilion. At Capp’s 400 Park Avenue apartment, she read for Tenderleaf and then - “but she’s the lead!” - for Daisy Mae.“Let me see your legs.” She raised her skirt. “Higher... Higher.” Then, recalls Goldie, Capp “parted his silk robe to reveal a flaccid penis resting against his wooden leg." Then she told him: “Mr Capp, I will never, ever get a job like this.” “Then go back and marry a Jewish dentist,” he spat at her. “I’ve had them all, you know, much better than you... get the hell out of here,” throwing a $20 bill at her for her train to Long Island. It was another two years before Capp’s pilot was seen. Goldie cabled congratulations: “As you can see I didn’t have to marry a Jewish dentist after all.” Capp tried another pilot in 1971. Also flaccid.
- Mia Farrow, Rosemary’s Baby, 1968. That would have been one giggly baby! Talk about off-beat. The Laugh-In giggler tested with Disney’s Dean Jones.
- Jane Seymour, Live and Let Die, 1973.
- Karen Black, Day of the Locust, 1974. One bad year for Goldie. The protracted filming of (the hardly seen) The Girl From Petrovka played havoc with her schedule.
- Cybill Shepherd, Taxi Driver, 1975.
- Barbara Harris, Family Plot, 1975. Goldie, Liza Minnelli and - surprise, surprise! - even Beverly Sills (“America’s Queen of Opera”) were in Alfred Hitchcock’s frame for Blanche in, alas, his final film. Until he fell - again - for Harris, a delightful actress he had tried to hire in the past. Hitchcock as prepping The Short Night when he died, at age 80, on April 29, 1980.
- Susan Sarandon, Pretty Baby, 1977. The rôle was horrendous - a prostitute allowing her 12-year-old daughter’s virginity to be auctioned off in a brothel in the red-light Storyville district of New Orleans, circa 1917. Elegant French director Louis Malle saw 28 possible little Violets - and another 15 actresses for her mother: Hawn (she preferred Foul Play), Candice Bergen, Cher, Glenn Close (passed), Mia Farrow, Farrah Fawcett (passed), Jane Fonda (with Jodie Foster as her daughter), Anjelica Huston, Diane Keaton, Liza Minnelli, Cybil Shepherd, Sissy Spacek, Meryl Streep, Sigourney Weaver. Malle and Sarandon became lovers and also made Atlantic City together in 1980… the year he married Bergen until his 1995 death.
- Valerie Perrine, Superman, 1978.
- Liza Minnelli, Arthur, 1980. Arthur went from John Belushi and Bud Cort to Michael Palin and John Travolta as thoughts for his ideal woman Linda Marolla included Goldie, Mia Farrow, Farrah Fawcett, Barbara Hershey, Diane Keaton, Jessica Lange, Susan Sarandon, Cybill Shepherd, Meryl Streep and Tuesday Weld - in the throes of divorcing the titular Dudley Moore.
- Jessica Lange, Frances, 1982. The life of actress Frances Farmer had suddenly become a sacred cause for every LA actress: Jane Fonda, Diane Keaton, Sissy Spacek, Tuesday Weld... and Susan Blakely, who just got on with it and made her own tele-version, Will There Really Be Morning? 1983.
- Kate Jackson, Making Love, 1982. Blame it on the fans... Goldie was game to escape her image and be the wife finding out that hubby is bi, maybe gay. But she knew her image would spoil it.
- Linda Hamilton, The Terminator, 1983. In all, 52 actresses were considered, seen, or tested for Sarah Connor. James Cameron created her for Bridget Fonda. She passed; so did Tatum O’Neal. He decided to go older… Glenn Close won - her schedule didn’t agree. OK, Kate Capshaw! No, she was tied to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - just as Kathleen Turner was Romancing The Stone. Debra Winger won her audition, said yes… then no. The other 46 ladies were: Rosanna Arquette, Kim Basinger, Christy Brinkley, Colleen Camp, Jamie Lee Curtis, Geena Davis, Mia Farrow, Carrie Fisher, Jodie Foster, Teri Garr, Jennifer Grey, Melanie Griffith, Darryl Hannah, Goldie Hawn, Barbara Hershey, Angelica Huston, Amy Irving, Diane Keaton, Margot Kidder, Diane Lane, Jessica Lange, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kay Lenz, Heather Locklear, Lori Loughlin, Kelly McGillis, Kristy McNichol, Madonna, Liza Minnelli, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhea Perlman (!), Michelle Pfeiffer, Gilda Radner (!), Deborah Raffin, Miranda Richardson, Meg Ryan, Susan Sarandon, Jane Seymour, Ally Sheedy, Cybill Shepherd, Brooke Shields, Sissy Spacek, Sharon Stone, Sigourney Weaver. Most were in contention again a few years later for Fatal Attraction (won by Close) and The Accused (going to Foster and McGillis). Ten years later (after T2), Linda gave birth to Cameron’s daughter and Josephine’s parents wed in 1997… for two years.
- Lily Tomlin, All Of Me, 1984. An exchange of Laugh In graduates for Phil Auden Robinson's script - no Field of Dreams.
- Rosanna Arquette, Desperately Seeking Susan, 1985. Warner’s idea of casting young. Goldie was 40.
- Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction, 1987.
- Kelly McGillis, The Accused, 1988. Paramount suits saw 40 young actresses for the (real life) gang rape victim. Or, their own rape bait fantasies… such as 16-year-old Alyssa Milano! And a further 27 for her lawyer. Including Fatal Attraction also-rans from Hawn, Geena Davis, Tuesday Weld - to Diane Keaton Meryl Streep and Debra Winger, who were offered both roles. Plus Beverly D’Angelo, Blythe Danner, Sally Field, Carrie Fisher, Teri Garr, Mary Gross, Barbara Hershey, Kathleen Turner, Sigourney Weaver, Dianne Wiest. A 1982 rape victim herself, McGillis refused the lead. She had no wish to revisit the horror and pain of her own assault six years earlier. She had no wish to revisit the horror and pain of her own assault six years earlier. Obviously. However, she agreed to play Sarah’s defence attorney - on condition that the studio-described “unsexy” Jodie, and no one else, played Sarah! The suits caved, tested Foster and the rest is Oscar history… dated March 29, 1989.
- Melanie Griffith, Working Girl, 1988. Idem for Warner’s idea of casting young.
- Lily Tomlin, Big Business, 1988. Goldie in Shakespeare!!! The two sets of twin sisters in this modern update of The Comedy Of Errors were written for Goldie and Barbra Streisand. That they didn’t accept them is best explained in Chicago critic Roger Ebert’s review: “This ought to have inspired a funny movie, but instead... it inspires... an endless and dreary series of scenes in which the various twins just barely miss running into each other.”
- Joan Cusack, My Blue Heaven, 1990. Although Nora Ephron wrote the DA for her, Goldie simply exec-produced and waited two more years before joining Steve Martin on-screen. And Housesitter was not worth the wait.
- Geena Davis, Thelma & Louise, 1990.
- Sally Kirkland, JFK, 1991.
- Chistine Lahti, Leaving Normal, 1992. Thelma & Louise - The Allternative Version... Faced with an onslaught of requests from Goldie, Barbara Hershey and apparently Jessica Lange, Edward Zwick said his decision “was entirely visceral. Christine has many colours as an actress that are right for this role” of a free-spirited waitress. And, at 40, she was also, ssh, the youngest chasing it.
- Dolly Parton, Straight Talk, 1992. “I had it for seven years,” said Dolly. “Bette had it. Then, Goldie and Julia. In the end, I had to say: Can I have my script back?” Not that it did her (or James Woods) much good. Dolly has not made another cinema movie.
- Patty Duke, Last Wish, TV, 1992. Betty Rollins’ 1985 best-seller about assisting her mother to die became a (standard) tele-flick when Goldie’s much-travelled option lapsed. No takers at Warners, MGM or Disney.
- Farrah Fawcett, Dr T and the Women, 2000. From the outset, Goldie was set as the wife of the pussy-whipped gynaecologist Richard Gere with her own daughter, Kate Hudson, as her daughter. Kate stayed firm with her Lesbian kissing scene while Goldie quit due to the breakdown sequence where Mrs T strips naked in a shopping mall.
- Shelley Long, Dr T and the Women, 2000. Director Robert Altman then offeed her Carolyn, Dr T’s devoted nurse who runs his office and fancies herself as his wife. Altman came thisclose to calling the film... Pussy.
- Nathalie Baye, Absolument Fabuleux, France, 2000. The first attempt to transfer AbFab to the big screen came from Goldie and Bette Midler - at Disney. Creator Jennifer Saunders pulled out, positive that Hollywood would dilute the political incorrectness “and make it unfunny.” Warners did exactly that (and worse) with a US TVersion, High Society, with Mary McDonnell, Jean Smart.Then, Saunders inexplicably allowed the French to make a right merde out of it. Goldie and Midler got it on with First Wives Club, 1996.
- Renée Zellweger, Chicago, 2002.
- The Viagra Diaries, TV, 2012. A 65-year-old being single again for the first time in 35 years - that was going to be Goldie’s comebacka full decade after her last gig, The Banger Sisters, in 2002.But her various hassles led to a divorce from HBO and (Sex and the City) creator-producer Darren Star.
- Jane Fonda, This Is Where I Leave You, 2013. Like directors, the actresses kept changing. Only Kathryn Hahn survived the shuffling… to discover if there’s anything worse than your father dying, it’s going home for the funeral - a whole week with an over-sharing mother, siblings, spouses, exes and assorted wannabes.
- Emily Blunt, Into The Woods, 2013.