Payday Loans

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Christian Cooke

  1. Jamie Dornan, Fifty Shades of Grey, 2013.       Mark Wahlberg tried to buy the porno novel.  Social networks were full of weird suggestions for the porn novel’s BDSM lover, Christian Grey. From Robert Pattinson, Matt Smith to Henry Cavill (well, S/M also stands for Superman) and Captain America Chris Evans (as if Marvel would allow that). None led to talks, auditions or tests.  Because the suits had eyes only for Gosling.  No way, said he. Most wise. Next target was Charlie Hunnam. He agreed and then suddenly quit because of his Sons of Anarchy, series (among other issues), and a second batch of front-runners were seen: Luke Bracey (the inevitable Aussie), Canadians Patrick J Adams and François Arnaud (well versed in jiggery-pokery as Cesare in The Borgias series), plus Scott Eastwood, Theo James, Billy Magnussen - and Alexander Skarsgård, playing Tarzan by then with an Anastasia Steele hopeful, Margot Robbie.   (Hunnam had also been in the ape-man mix). The first group had been Stephen Amell (he preferred Oliver Queen, aka DC’s Arrow, TV 2012-2016), ex-UK model David Gandy (who simply refused), two other Brits,  Cooke (from Love, Rosie with London model Suki Waterhouse up for Anastasia), Dominic Cooper (perfect, surely!), plus Aussie Daniel McPherson - and Santa Monica’s Ryan Paevey actually auditioned. As for the Belgian hunk, Matthias Schoenaerts - he fell asleep reading the scenario. Oh, and author EL James vetoed any idea of of Dornan’s pal, Eddie Redmayne! They were all lucky to escape the turgid, totally un-erotic enterprise. Only 14 minutes and 17 seconds of sex, no orgasms - and pubes added digitally to actors’ genital patches!! And poor Dornan was a zero without his beard.
  2. Jamie Bell, The Fantastic Four, 2014.     Jamies keep getting in his way… First Dornan, now Bell.  Marvel wanted the Four back and offered Fox an extension on its Daredevil II plans. No way! And so, Bell became the first British Thing - after Michael Chiklis and Michael Bailey Smith in the previous flps. Two other firsts. CGI was used in place of prosthetics and The Thing was not booted or suited - not sporting boost and pants. Film flopped. (Only ever made to save the rights). Marvel icon Stan Lee saw it coming and refused his usual seal- of-approval cameo.

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