Payday Loans
Mike Myers

 

  1. Matthew Lillard, Scooby-Doo, 2001.      Jay Kogen did a live-action script of the old Hanna-Barbera cartoon ghost-chasers and their cowardly dog.Myers sent up their predictable finales in Wayne’s World, then gave up being Shaggy for Austin Powers: TheSpy Who Shagged Me.
  2. Sam Rockwell, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, 2001.      Worst career decision since Harrison Ford pulled out of Traffic. Myers passed onUS TV Chuck Barris who claimed to have been a CIAssassin while hosting his Gong Show. Ironically, Sam hadfinanced his way through acting school by working as a part-time private dick, keeping tabs oncheating spouses. “I was driving the car, and my friend was videotaping. It was really sleazy. I think we made $50 or something. All that stuff helps with acting though.” Oh, really!   (Myers finally dusted down his Barris schtick when playing the  game-show host - re-named Tommy Maitland - in the ten-episode tele-Gong Show revival on ABC in 2017)

  3. Johnny Depp, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, 2004.     
    Myers was a rather obvious Tim Burton choice while awaiting news on whether Depp could come out and play… in their fifth partnership in 15 years. Tim’s 31 other fancies for chocolatier Willy Wonka were his ole Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton. Plus Rowan Atkinson, Dan Aykroyd, Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey, Chevy Chase, Warwick Davis, Robert De Niro, James Gandolfini, Dwayne Johnson, Ian McKellen, Marilyn Manson, Steve Martin, Rik Mayall, Bill Murray, John Neville, Leslie Nielsen, Brad Pitt, Peter Sallis, Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld, Will Smith, Patrick Stewart, Ben Stiller, Christopher Walken, Robin Williams. And the surviving Monty Python crew (also up for the 1970 version): John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin. Among the five exec producers, author Roald Dahl’s widow, Liccy, wanted her husband’s favourite Willy - Dustin Hoffman.   If not possible she voted for UK comics, Eddie Izzard or David Walliams. She was quite happy with Depp… who found Willy’s voice while riffing on a stoned George W Bush!

  4. Steve Martin, The Pink Panther, 2006.      Both Martin and Myers were fans of Peter Sellers. Surely, reason enough not to trash his genius.
  5. Will Ferrell, Bewitched, 2004.    Enjoying his 15 minutes after the worlds of Wayne Campbell, Austin Powers and Shrek, Myers was first choice for the tele-witch’s husband in the unrequired film of the 1968-1972 series. Because, said the suits, he resembled Dick York, TV’s Darrin, and was, therefore, more accepeable than anyone else… like Will Ferrell, for example! 
  6. Steve Martin, The Pink Panther, 2005.    Both Martin and Myers were fans of Peter Sellers. Surely,  reason enough not to trash his genius. Kevin Kline  - even Chris Tucker - were much better ideas for the Inspector Clouseau reboot than The King of Paltry Re-makes.
  7. Ben Stiller, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 2013.    During the 20 year life of trying to re-make Danny Kaye’s 1946 version of the 1939 James Thurber short story… Myers was in talks after the (first) departures of Jim Carrey and Stiller. Next?  Sacha Baron Cohen, Owen Wilson as directors switched between Steven Spielberg and Ron Howard. Ultimately, Stiller starred and directed… reducing Mitty’s daydreams and giving him a real adventure - almost as if this was a sequel to some unseen re-make. 

 





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