Payday Loans
Adrien Brody


  1. John Livingston, Mr Wrong, 1995.    Lost Walter; so did Ben Affleck,  David Arquette and Noah Wylie. They were lucky! “A dreadful movie,” blasted San Francisco critic Nick LaSalle. They were  lucky again in April 2013 when their union blocked the auction of 54 test  tapes, including  theirs with Ellen DeGeneres. “Auditions are not public performances,” said the SAG-AFTRA “Performers are entitled to expect them to remain private.”
  2. Brian Markinson, Sweet and Lowdown, 1999.   Tested for the role of one of Sean Penn’s mates.
  3. Ewen Bremner, Pearl Harbor, 2001.  Michael Bay’s dream scheme was Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Gwyneth Paltrow as the three pretty leads(only Ben was available) and Brody as, er, Red Winkie.  A too little Winkie, said  Brady, opening a door for the  Scottish trainspotter.  Brody complained:  “Most of rhe feedback I get when I don’t get a part is that I’m too ethnic looking.”
  4. Henry Thomas, Gangs of New York, 2002.   Another test, another  pal - of Leonardo DiCaprio, this time.“But Scorsese wanted a more Irish look.”
  5. Mark Love, God Has A Rap Sheet, 2002.    Change of Anthony among nine  guys held overnight in a police holding cell - including a homeless man  who says he’s God.  The kind of God who pontificates: “The meaning of life is to keep it meaningful.”  He used to have better writers.
  6. Joaquin Phoenix, The Village, 2004.     Next time, they were both up for the same role, Brody won: Hollywoodland, 2006.
  7. Benicio Del Torro, Sin City, 2005.  Auditioned for Jackie Boy - who is dead in the one scene that Tarantino directed for his pal Robert Rodriguez’s razzle-dazzle homage tocomicbook writer-artist Frank Miller - who co-directed..
  8. Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight, 2007.
  9. Ben Wishaw, I’m Not There, 2007.   Six actors in search of Bob Dylan - by playing him. One was Cate Blanchett with a sock in her pants, “it helped me walk like a man.”
  10. Mark Ruffalo, The Brothers Bloom,  2007.   US auteur Rian Johnson chose Brody for  Bloom with  Ruffalo as his brother, also a con artist.   The actors simply changed Blooms.

  11. Zachary Quinto, Star Trek, 2008.    The re-boot Trekkie-in-chief, JJ Abrams, talked with Brody about becoming the new Spock.
  12. Ray Liotta, Giallo, Italy-Spain-UK-US, 2008.   Brody’s hard-smoking Inspector Enzo Avolfidoes things “his own way.”So did Brody on and off-screen during Darto Argento’s terrible toprture-porn horror. Perhaps this is why his credit is an anagram of his name:: Byron Diedra.
  13. Eric Bana,The Time Traveller’s Wife, 2009.   Brad Pitt (and then wife Jennifer Aniston) bought the book for their Plan B company.  However, tbey had no Plan B when their marriager soured and the author, Audrey Niuffenegger, could see only Brody as Henry.
  14. Benjamin Walker, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, 2011.    Less beautiful than Buffy or not, the oddest vampire slayer of all was a  hot 3D project (he throws a mean axe!) and a great role - Honest Abe, the 16th US president, from age 20  to 55,  during his other. (’Cos his  mother was slain  by a vampire). After seeing Brody, Eric Bana, James D’Arcy, Tom Hardy, Rob Huebel, Josh Lucas, Timothy Olyphant  and newcomer Oliver Jackson-Cohen, the Russian producer-director Timur Bekmambetov voted Walker.  Another producer was Tim Burton. So where was Johnny Depp?
  15. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, The Courier, 2011.    Most of the cast - Morgan, Mickey Rourke, Til Schweiger, Lili Taylor - signed on because of the  director. But, surely, If Hany Abu-Assad was that hot, surely he would have held out for soemtyhing better than rehashing  The Transporter for his US debut.  The Israeli was born in Nazareth but all similarity ends there.
  16. Miles Teller, Fantastic Four, 2014.     Plan A for the second Fox sequel was Harry Potter director David Yates in charge of Brody as Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic. (Plus Alice Eve as Sue Storm/The Invisible Woman and Kiefer Sutherland or Bruce Willis simply voicing Ben Grimm/The Thing). With the subtitle Reborn. Plan B? Josh Trank’s version -was stillborn! Bigflp.  Hollywood Reporter critic Todd McCarthy called it  “a 100-minute trailer for a movie that never happens.” Marvel icon Stan Lee saw it coming and refused his usual seal-of-approval cameo.
  17. Paul Rudd, Ant-Man, 2014.      But Marvel had already hired one Oscar-winner in Michael Douglas… The micro-superhero had been rolling around Hollywood ever since New World’s 1988 plan was tossed because Disney was into Honey, I Shrunk The Kids. Well, nowDisney was Marvel and, started prepping in 2006 with the great (Ant Man fan) Edgar Wright writer-directing.  By 2013, the script was done, effects tests made and Paul Rudd beat Brody, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and  Ewan McGregor to the on-off little guy. Then, Marvel maven Kevin Feige shook Film City by replacing Wright (for being Edgar Wright!) with obedient Peyton Reed.  Rudd was  the second transfer from TV’s Parks and Recreation  to the Marvel Cinematic Universe - after Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy.
  18. Lambert Wilson, L’Odyssee (The Odyssey), France, 2015. Or The Making of Commander Jacques-Yves Cousteau, globally revered for his remarkable TV shows about the sea. Brody and Roman Duris (the most wasted French star) were discussed for le commandant before Wilson scored a double whammy of playing the nation’s two most admired Frenchmen: Clouseau and the priest called l’Abbé Pierre.  Brody’s  New York mafioso,  Luca Changretta,  in the 2017 season of Peaky Blinders  - the Irish Godfather – was quite  the worst, way over the top and around the houses five times with bells on petformance ever seen from a one-time Best actor Oscar winner. 





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