AND THE 007th BOND IS?

No one knows. No one even knows the future of the Bond franchise. Daniel Craig’s successor might be a robot. He could be a toon. And Bond is a he, we have Barbara Broccoli’s word on that. "He can be of any colour, but he is male."  Meanwhile, Paramount intends cashing in on the non-007 years with The Saint. (Yawn). “No, Mr Bond, we expect you to quadruple our fortune.” The bigger question is whether Eon Productions, 007’s home since 1962, can survive the $8.45bn MGM takeover by Amazon. (Their motto must be: The World Is Not Enough). You can be sure that they’ll snap up the Young Bond books - set in the ‘30s. Some good titles: By Royal Command, A Hard Man To Kill. If they go for Bond Jr, why not… wait for it… Baby Bond, worked with wot’s’isface.  Except Disney never bought it, as was the rumour 18 months when this page was first compiled; they would have been wary of one non-Ian Fleming book… Solo.

Oh, oh, heaven. Daniel Craig and Lashana Lynch - “a disarming young woman.”

THE GOLDEN AGE

Age is important for Bond. Eon likes to run with the same guy for a few years, no more Lazenby slip-ups or Tim Dalton’s duets. The always touted Idris Elba, is 49 (well, Roger started at 45). Craig was already too old (to last) at 38. Connery began at 32. Lazenby was 29 and acted like 19.
Pierce suggested Colin Farrell and Tom Hardy (both 45), could "put a bit of wiggle” into Bond. Farrell had the 007 panache in the Total Recall re-hash. Tom is too pricey. Unless his mate, Christopher Nolan, is directing. Anyway, Tom is Mad Max. 
The BBC’s Mr Everyone, James Norton, 36, continues to deny the possibility of being chosen. (As much as Idris). McMafia was seen as Norton’s test - hah, more like for The Crown. “It’s bizarre and very flattering to be part of the conversation,” Norton told Aussie journo Helen Barlow. “I know less than anyone else about it. Daniel Craig has been incredible… Suddenly we had a human being. I was so intrigued by his performance - less than by burning everything up and running down corridors.”  Not that keen then. 
Some artificial intelligence gizmo, packed with actors’ (and Bond’s) professional DNAs, etc, spat out Superbloke Henry Cavill (38).  Well, no. He lost Casino Royale, won “the world’s greatest spy” (hah!), guy called Argylle.  (Richard Armitage was second - despite being 50. Wotta clever gizmo!).

IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT, YOU AIN'T GOT IT
... TOM HARDY

 The UK tabloids still fancy… Christian Bale, 47; Orlando Bloom, 44; Welsh Luke Evans, 42, except he’s in several series; Jamie Dornan, 38, has too many shades of grey, Christian Grey.  At 44, Michael Fassbender’s 15 minutes are long gone. Henry Golding, of The Gentlemen, 33, thinks “stranger things have happened.” Matthew Goode, 43, and Tom Hiddleston, 40, are too posh. At 31, Nicholas Hoult is too pretty - as they said about Roger in ‘62. Black Panther’s Daniel Kaluuya is 32 and needs to know “‘cos I need a new kitchen!"  Counterpart’s Harry Lloyd is 38. James McAvoy, 42, has been there, done that (with Angelina Jolie, no less) in Wanted, 2007. Peaky Blinder Cillian Murphy, 46, insists “not on my radar.” (Unless, again, Nolan directs). Robert Pattinson, 35, was stylish inTenet but has relocated to Gotham. Irish Aidan Turner, 39, was the Beeb’s topless Poldark. David Oyelowo, 45, best actor of this group if a trifle short. As for David Beckham, 46, singer Harry Styles, 27 -  aw c’mon, be real.

THE SHORT LIST

 Nu-folk singer Johnny Flynn (David Bowie in Stardust and Ian Fleming, no less, in Operation Mincemeat… the Scottish Outlander Sam Heughan, after Everest with Ewan McGregor…  Sean Teale, from Pierce’s spy thriller, Survivor, 2014. They are 30/38 but look twentysomething. (There’s a Flynn family legend that his father, Eric, 1972’s Ivanhoe, was offered Jimbo in the 60s). Then, of course, Mr Bridgerton, Regé-Jean Page. “If you’re a Brit and you do something of any regard,” he told Jimmy Fallon, “people are going to start saying the B word. It’s a merit badge. I’m very glad to have the badge, I’m very glad to be in the company of such people who have the badge, but it’s just a badge.”  

My money’s  on Sam. It had been on Regé. But he burned for a badge with a halo on it.  He’s the new Saint in a re-boot of the 1996 Val Kilmer disaster. Regé’s also in Dungeons & Dragons at the same studio which appears to see him as its next Tom Cruise.  So bye-bye 007. You can’t be Simon Templar one day and James Bond the next. Roger had to wait four years to do that.

You may know Sam as Jamie Fraser in Outlander.  However, this shot comes from… wait for it… The Spy Who Dumped Me. 

Sam Heughan doesn't wear braces.

I have a new French book out, Les 8 visages de James Bond (The 8 Faces of…), from Les éditions de l’Histoire. My co-authors are the #1 Bond experts in France: Kevin Bertrand Collette and Frederic Albert Levy - both reserving their bets on who’s next.
Whoever gets it, here’s Daniel’s advice: "Don't fuck it up. It's a beautiful, amazing thing.”

THE WRITE STUFF

No matter what you may read, the wondrous Phoebe Waller-Bridge is not the fjrst woman to help write a Bond film. Roger Moore put the record straight in his 2014 memoir, Last Man Standing, with much delayed praise for… Joanna Harwood. “Her involvement has been overlooked and her pivotal role clouded by the vagaries of film history and the egos of those within it.” Having started in film continuity in her native Ireland, Joanna became Harry Saltzman’s secretary, script-reader... and writer. ”When he optioned Ian Fleming’s books and was trying to create an interest in making a film, I adapted Dr No for him. It was a first draft script.”

LAST DAN STANDING

“Daniel? Keep him. Lock him in a cellar and don’t let anybody else have him,” said Tom Mankiewicz.  “He should do 50 of these!” 
“In the first book he was described as a blunt instrument, and that’s how I played it,” said Craig. “What I’m doing is not what Pierce was doing, and Pierce wasn’t doing what Roger... or what … or what Timothy was doing. Things have changed. It’s just the ride of it. Pierce used to say that it’s like being responsible for a small country.”
“The past isn’t dead.” Dan dun good... Despite wearing his little brother’s tight jacket and grandad’s braces!  - or suspenders, as he’s now a US citizen (like Brozzers). His leaving is as sad as Billie Eilish’s title song. He’ll be back (twice) as Blanc. Benoit Blanc. On Netflix (like Ana’s Marilyn), where else?

ONCE UPON A TITLE

With a major fanfare, China’s top superstars, Tony Chiu-Wai Leung Chiu-Wai and Andy Lau, announced their first teaming in the 18 years since Infernal Affairs, for a thriller called … Goldfinger! Surely, the Broccolis own that title? Sure enough, within weeks, it became Once Upon A Time in Hong Kong… seemingly inspired by Jet Li’s classic Hong Kong movie series. Once Upon a Time in China.

ROLL ©REDITS:

All The President's Men montage: Reg Oliver,1976; Ana de Armas: Plan B Entertainment, 2019. Jimbos and No Time To Die: Eon Productions; Sam Heughan, Lionsgate, 2017. Plus huge thanks to The Man: Daniel Bouteiller.