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© Tony Crawley 2020
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TC by GM - back in the day when this fetish started.

A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD TALE

New York’s Edward Brophy (1895-1960) scored 146 screen roles in 40 years.

Put the kettle on… this one takes a little telling. It’s Broadway Danny Rose, LA style… I’ll pass the mike to Mike Fleming, who told it all at Deadline Hollywood… exactly the way ICM agent Jack Gilardi told him… About how superagent Marty Baum had cast Stanley Kramer’s comedy It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, 1962, with Spencer Tracey, Mickey Rooney, Ethel Merman, Edie Adams and others, when Kramer calls him: "Marty, you did such a great job, but I got one more role open. It’s the sheriff. Can you help me?" Marty says: "Ed Brophy!" Stanley says: "Who?" Marty says: "Oh, he did this, he did that, he has done Broadway, he’s great." Stanley says: "OK, if you believe in him, let’s get him in the picture." Marty says: "Well… he’s not cheap, you know, and I’ve got to get some money for him." Stanley says: "I’ll give him $1,200 a week, six weeks guaranteed. I can’t give him any more than that." Marty hangs up and tells an assistant to get Ed Brophy on the phone.” Minutes later, he’s told Mrs Brophy is on the phone.
"Hi,Mrs Brophy… There’s a picture that Stanley Kramer is gonna make, and I have great news... I got a major part in it for Ed Brophy." She says: "Ed’s gone." Marty says: "I know. But this is going to bring him back. Spencer Tracy is the star!" She says: "You don’t understand, Mr. Baum. Ed’s gone." This went on for minutes before she finally said: "Mr. Baum, Ed died six weeks ago."
"Oh, my God Mrs. Brophy, I am so sorry."
Then, Marty gets Stanley Kramer on the phone. "Look Stanley, I can’t deliver Ed Brophy." "Whaddya mean?" "Well, he wants more money." "More money? I never heard of him." "Well, he wants $2,500 a week, and that’s a lot of money and I understand this won’t work out." Stanley says: "Marty, you’ve been so right on the picture that I’m going to give him the $2,500." Marty says: "Yeah, but what about the billing?" Stanley says: "What billing? I don’t even know him… all right, I’ll give him co-star billing and he’ll be among Mickey Rooney and Buddy Hackett and the others." Marty says: "I still can’t do it." Stanley says: "C’mon Marty. Let’s get this thing done."
Finally, Marty says: "Stanley, Ed Brophy is dead." There’s a pause and Stanley says: "You sold me a dead actor?" Marty says: "Yeah. But you bought him!"
"True story," said Jack Gilardi. "I was there."
And... Andy Devine played the sheriff.

BODYGUARDING

WOODY CALLING

Richard E Grant, who must have been as surprised by being in Star Wars IX as I was in seeing him there, has completed a sequel to the Ryan Reynolds-Sam Jackson black comedy, The Hitman’s Bodyguard. Salma Hayek is still there (as Mrs Sam, matching in the profanity department), so it’s now The Hitman Wife’s Bodyguard. No doubt #3 will be The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard’s Sister-in-law’s Daughter’s Boyfriend.

This one beats all other Woody Allen casting stories... Instead of one of his famous five seconds meetings in New York, Denholm Elliott could only be phoned about Interiors at a set hour at a set bar on Ibiza. He tried to prove his American accent by reciting a kiddy’s poem. "He’s saying: Hickory, Dickory Dock," recalled Woody, "and it’s totally English." Allen said he’d think about it. And called him back. For September…. Ten years later!

BIOPIX WARS

Dangerous Daisy

Judge Felicity

The guys have been ruling the biopix - Stephen Hawking, Elton John John Lennon, Freddie Mercury. Now it’s the girls’ turn. And what girls - the brightest in the Star Wars galaxy. Rogue One’s Felicity Jones plays the great US Supreme Court judge Ruth Bader Ginsburg in On the the Basis of Sex – while Daisy Ridley and JJ Abrams are together again for A Woman Of No Importance, about the American Virginia Hall, working for British intelligence during WWII. The Gestapo called her "the most dangerous of all Allied spies."

NEARLY DECKARD

Harrsion Ford is Deckard in Blade Runner

UK wiz Ridley Scott spent a long time sniffing out the perfect Blade Runner Deckard in 1981. Dustin Hoffman was first choice. He was keen - but on making him a totally different character. (Typical Hoffman). The search began… From top notchers Sean Connery, Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Robert Mitchum, Paul Newman, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino… to such excellent journeymen as William Devane, Robert Duvall, Peter Falk, Frederic Forrest, Scott Glenn, Tommy Lee Jones, Raul Julia, Nick Nolte, Christopher Walken. Martin Sheen was too exhausted after Apocalypse Now. In sheer desperation, choices lowered to Cliff Gorman, Judd Hirsch. Even the Virginian Morgan Paull stood a chance, having played Deckard in Scott’s tests of potential Rachaels. (He was given Holden for his pains). Plus Arnold Schwarzenegger, not yet seen as Conan, much less Terminator. And for probably the last time in such an illustrious list, the fading star of Burt Reynolds.


SWEET MARILYN She lost Baby Doll, Can-Can, Freud, Harlow. So what! She was sublime in Some Like It Hot.	BEST SELLERS "What role?" "All of them!" said Stanley Kubrick. Sellers never finished this fourth ...	LITTLE SHIRLEY After lavish tests of Shirley Temple for 1949's Little Women, MGM chose Janet Leigh as Meg.	GODPOP Shakespeare icon Laurence Olivier as Mafia Godfather Don Corleone – fuhgeddaboudit!

NEARLY CARRIE

There were other Carries after the 1976 film (even a TV series was planned) but none had the Sissy Spacek magic… Betsy Slade was director Brian De Palma’s earliest choice (due to her abortion-seeking teen in Our Time, 1973), then her co-star Pamela Sue Martin, then Amy Irving (who wed his pal, Steven Spielberg). Linda Blair auditioned but avoided all Exorcist-ish typecasting. Farrah Fawcett was stuck in Charlie’s Angels. Sondra Locke’s agent told her to pass. Also seen: Jill Clayburgh, future bunny-boiler Glenn Close and Melanie Griffith (De Palma’s Body Double, 1984). Sissy knew De Palma (her husband Jack Fisk was his art director) and was seriously pissed that she’d only been offered Sue or Chris and not The Role. Fisk persuaded him to test her and she blew all opposition out of the park. Carrie was 17, Sissy was 25. Yet, absolutely perfect!

HOW YOU DOIN?

Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Monica and Chandler - and those who almost played them - have finally made it into the Special Movies section. Among a few other TV classics: Doctor Who, Seinfeld and The Sopranos.

DOWN THE HATCH

During his final film, The Captain Hates The Sea, 1933, John Gilbert’s alcoholism was not exactly helped by being in a cast of boozers, particularly during the shooting at sea. Columbia czar Harry Cohn cabled director Lewis Milestone: “Return to studio. The cost is staggering.” Milestone replied: “So is the cast!”

Photo ©redits:

All The President's Men and Godfather montages: Reg Oliver, 1976; Blade Runner: Warner Bros, 1981; Marlon Brando: Paramount Pictures, 1960; Edward Brophy: MGM, 1934; Carrie: United Artists, 1976; Felicity Jones BKL Films, 2009; Friends, Warner Bros/NBC TV; Marilyn Monroe: 20th Century Fox, 1962; Daisy Ridley: Lucasfilm/Disney, 2018; Peter Sellers: Hawk Films/Columbia Pictures, 1963; Shirley Temple: Selznick International Pictures, 1946; TC sketch: Graham Marsh, 1976; Thunderball: Eon Productions, 1965; Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, Concorde Pictures, 1985. Plus enormous thanks to The Man: Daniel Bouteiller.

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WELCOME to a unique directory of what you never saw on-screen. The films the stars did not make. The movies that never were. The most definitive collation of casting stories ... Check up on all the films - of yesterday, today and tomorrow - that your favourite stars never made... A cast of thousands - 8,063 actors - to click on... More than 40 years in the making!! And 2,502,855 words of spirited text. The ultimate in movie trivia ... Better! Exactly the kind of history that Hollywood deserves. Back to front. Upside-down. Inside out. Full of flashbacks, close-ups, tracking shots (and, alas some badly edited sequences - sorry about that!) forming a fascinating, new and often bizarre flip-side perspective on your treasured movies and stars.

This is the film that bred this site ... after Robert Redford told me he'd planned a little black-white version - with Robert De Niro, and Michael Moriarty as Woodstein.

BOND LADY

Uschi Bernelle was tested (among the many) for Bond’s masseuse Patricia Fearing in Thunderball, 1965. Reputedly close to 200 actresses were seen for four roles, Faye Dunaway and Raquel Welch included.

WHERE TO FIND ..?

TORN APART

Why didn't Rip Torn make Easy Rider - see his blue section on his page.

STREEP KONG

Meryl v Italian producer Dino de Laurentiis. Read all about it - in her first item.

FULL METAL HALL

For the fullest story of why Anthony Michael Hall did not make Stanley Kubrick's 'Nam classic, go to Hall's page. (The blue section).

PERFECT GRYSHENKA

How Hollywood ruined Marilyn Monroe's dream role in The Brothers Karamazov is on Marilyn's page - item #17

She said title

Saying no to certain films is as important as saying yes, because it really defines you. - Juliette Binoche, who refused Spielberg’s Jurassic Park and Schindler’s List - yet made Godzilla!

Contemporary dramatists still don’t find women interesting. Where are the really good women‘s parts? Not written yet. And that’s a bit depressing, When you look around at the wonderful actresses and see the kind of crap they’re doing, you think why does no one write something better for women. - Glenda Jackson.

I don’t do T&A very well because I haven’t got much of either. - Tea Leoni

You’ll never be a star because you can’t boil an egg. – one Andy Warhol star, Candy Darling, to another, Holly Woodlawn

When I become a star I’ll have my cook boil my eggs. One Andy Warhol star, Holly Woodlawn, to another, Candy Darling

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet. – Angelina Jolie

The more famous an actress becomes, the less she's allowed to eat. - Lana Turner.

I'm a good Catholic girl in the way that Madonna is. In the sense that I'm not that good at all. - Heather Graham

As you get older, you realise your parents aren't these superheroes. They're actually people. - Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.

I was an idiot in terms of career-building, but I had a great time. – Sally Kellerman.

I turned down more roles than I accepted... and to be honest, the ones I accepted were often for all the wrong reasons.” Ava Gardner (45 examples on her page).

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn

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