“It’s one after another of this re-make and that re-make. People ask: Have you seen Dune? Have you seen Ripley? Have you seen Shōgun? And I’m like: No, no, no, no. There’s six or seven Ripley books: If you do one again, why are you doing the same one that they’ve done twice already.”- Quentin Tarantino.
HAPPY OLD YEAR
For the first time, our Home Page is devoted to a single subject. Re-makes! Except they’re not called that anymore. It’s “re-freshers” now. Re-imaginings. (With a marked lack of both). And there’s more than one a week ahead of us in 2025… with a few extras in tow… for an astonishing 68 old titles in all. Including 27 sequels but as we all know (and complain), they’re also warmed-over re-hashes of tales already told. I mean, if they’re so good, why not simply re-issue the originals, the way David Fincher’s Se7en has won an encore. In Imax.
East of Eden. Surprisingly, Florence Pugh’s name was writ large in the headlines about the Netflix project of James Dean’s East of Eden. I immediately wondered if anyone remembered who played Abra in the 1954 film. (Julie Harris). I then discovered that the excessively busy Flo is not playing Abra but Cathy, mother of the brothers, Aron and Caleb. Cathy Trask was not in the movie. Well, she was – but called Kate Albey. All of which takes some explaining.
The series is adapted by Zoe Kazan, grand-daughter of the film’s mighty director Elia Kazan. He concentrated on the brothers (inspired by Cain and Abel) and threw out the first half of John Steinbeck’s novel about their parents’ miserable marriage. He kept Cathy – renamed Kate and running brothel – for a memorable confrontation scene with Dean, winning Jo Van Fleet her Oscar. Who’s daring to play Jimmy’s part? Aussie TV find Joseph Zada.
Enemy Mine. I spent a few days on the 1985 Bavarian set of Das boot director Wolfgang Petersen’s first English-lingo movie with astronaut Dennis Quaid having to get along with Lou Gossett‘s reptilian alien after they both crash on the same planet. That’s why the initial flop won a cult following – for its humanity.
Highest 2 and Lowest. First Martin Scorsese, then Mike Nichols, but finally Spike Lee is re-interpreting Akira Kurosawa’s High and Low, a terrific 1962 Japanese drama of a botched kidnapping from the King’s Ransom book by Evan Hunter’s alter-ego Ed McBain. In his fifth Spike film, Denzel Washington has the old Toshirō Mifune. Jeffery Wright is the cop. A must-see movie.
Highlander. “I always think you could have more Henry,” says director Zack Snyder. And we are. Ex-Superman, ex-Sherlock, ex-Witcher and nearly 007, Henry Cavil is the new Scottish immortal Connor McLeod – won in ‘85 by French Christophe Lambert from such candidates as Kevin Costner, Michael Douglas, Mickey Rourke even Sting. Sean Connery still stole it all as the mighty swordsman Ramirez.
Joan of Arc. Elvis-maker Baz Luhrmann rashly calls it the ultimate teenage girl coming-of-age story. Few others would so describe the history of the French national heroine, warrior, virgin, martyr and eventual saint after being burnt at the stake by the English in 1431. Joan’s history has been screened since silent cinema, starring Maria Falconetti (in 1928), Milla Jovovich, Jean Seberg (when sassy Mamie Van Doren was also considered!) and most memorably by Ingrid Bergman in 1947. Most un-saint-like like, Ingrid had an affair with her much older director and then ruined their film’ box-office by headlines of her being pregnant by another film-maker, while still wed to her husband.
The Karate Kid. The seventh re-boot unites the ’83 kid, Ralph Macchio (now 63) and Jackie Chan from the 2009 story. New kid is Ben Wang. Back in the day, Robert Downey Jr, Charlie Sheen, Tom Cruise lost the lead. So did Kyle Eastwood making Clint so mad he banned Coca-Cola from his sets. (Coke owned Columbia at the time).
Masters of the Universe. “By the power of Grayskull…” Forget Westeros and Dune, welcome back to Eternia, as Mattel (which created the toys in 1952) co-produces its first project since Barbie. Idris Elba is the new Duncan, Man-At-Arms, Nicholas Galitzine is our hero He-Man (Dolph Lundgren in ‘86) and Alison Brie is Evil-Lyn. None of them were played, by Courteney Cox in her first film… eight years before Friends.
Robocop. “I don’t think you re-make iconic films.” That’s Peter Weller’s 1986 co-star Nancy Allen. She’s right. Four attempts failed, plus a series. Peter Ocko is writing another for Prime Video. No casting yet. For his Hollywood debut, Paul Verhoeven chose Weller over his usual Dutch star, Rutger Hauer, Keith Carradine or Schwarzi…. first to play…
The Running Man. When producer Rob Cohen bought the Richard Bachman novel, he had no idea it was actually penned by Stephen King (in a week!). Arnie ran in ’87, instead of Dolph Lundgren, Christopher Reeve or Patrick Swayze. Baby Driver director Edgar Wright will have LA’s busiest guy, Glen Powell, running through cinemas in November.
Superman. Opening on July 11, James Gunn’s much awaited new (and tallest) Supie is David Corenswet, the Rock Hudson avatar in Ryan Murphy’s salty Hollywood series. Rivals included Tom Brittney, Harris Dickinson, Pierson Fode, Wolfgang Novogratz, Andrew Richardson – and Nicholas Hoult, beaten by Robert Pattinson to The Batman, and finally becoming Lex Luthor. Emma Mackey lost Lois Lane to Rachel Brosnahan (who has also re-made the 80’s thriller, The Amateur). The most popular Supie, Christopher Reeve, had won over starrier competition in 1977: Beatty, Eastwood, Newman, Redford, Travolta and… and Elton John! Well, he wore glasses like Clark Kent, you see. Oh, Hollywood!
Tomb Raider. After eight years as GoT’s Sansa Stark, Sophie Turner has a new identity. She succeeds Angelina Jolie and Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft in the Prime Video series – from Phoebe Waller Bridge, no less. Other candidates were Lucy Boynton, Mackenzie Davis, plus Emmas Corrin and Mackay. The first films from 2000 were aimed at Sandra Bullock, Emilia Clarke (another GoT alumna), Jennifers Lawrence and Lopez, Daisy Ridley, Uma Thurman, Emma Watson, etc. Plus Hayley Atwell, who voices the Netflix anime.
Wuthering Heights. Barbie is the 19th Cathy Earnshaw since 1920! Margot Robbie nixed Sue Storm in Fantastic Four to join auteur Emerald Fennell’s venture. Fennell picked Jacob Elordi as Cathy’s feral lover, Heathcliff – committing the usual sin of not selecting a man of colour as he is painted in Emily Bronte’s novel. Only the Filipino, Indian, Japanese and Spanish productions came close to a “dark-skinned… Lascar” instead of Richard Burton, Timothy Dalton, Tom Hardy, Ian McShane.
THERE’S MORE
So many more…
Luca Guadagnino, Sicilian director of Challengers and Queer, is prepping another American Psycho – with Austin Butler, only actor as busy as Glenn Powell. Christian Bale won serial killer Patrick Bateman in 1999 from Brad, Johnny, Leo, Billy Crudup (remember him?) and later dropped the “e” to become Batman. Bale returns in our Horror department.
At 78, Sly Stallone has dropped out of rearranging his ’92 Cliffhanger (nicknamed Die Hard On A Mountain) and the new lead is Lily James – far easier on the eye than Sly or her co-star Pierce Brosnan…
Not into comics, Charlie Cox never knew Daredevil was blind until a day before his successful audition in 2014. He’s back for the new series on TV – while TV’s Game of Thrones is being dusted down for a full blown movie… which has nothing to do with a second helping of How To Train Your Dragon, live action this time. Gerard Butler is still stoically playing Stoick.
Recent Oscar-winner Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan repeat their 2003 roles from Freaky Friday when introducing the next body-swapping generation come August in what else but Freakier Friday. Ugh! Miles Teller risks all by attempting Richard Gere’s Officer and Gentleman – the love story of ’81, when the girl was Debra Winger
In July, Marvel Is having another bash at trying to make The Fantastic Four match its title. (The sub-title doesn’t help: First Steps). Paul Mescal passed The Human Torch to Joseph Quinn, Also from Gladiator II, Pedro Pascal (like a Burt Reynolds clone) is Mr Fantastic and Vanessa Kirby is The Invisible Woman. Ho hum. However, I trust Ozark’s amazing Julia Garner will make it all worthwhile. She’s Shalla-Bal aka Silver Surfer #2, from the planet Zenn-La. She’s also in our Horror section.
Donald Glover and Maya Erskine are Prime’s February Mr and Mrs Pitt in Mr and Mrs Smith – once aimed at Johnny Depp and Nicole Kidman… Jennifer Lopez-Diego Luna succeed 1983’s Sonia Braga-William Hurt in the musical adapation of Kiss of the Spider Woman… The re-sharpened Blade is Mahershala Ali (also in Jurassic World: Rebirth) while poor old Blade Runner is dumped into a series. Better than Day of the Jackal, one hopes.
After all these re-heats, I’m expecting the next 007 movie will be… Dr No…
More Twin Peaks? “I don’t think I’d want to see that and I don’t think anyone should attempt it. Too many shows and movies today are re-made. You are like: Don’t touch that. But they do. They can’t help but put their hand on the stove again. That’s the problem.” – Kyle MacLachlan
ROLL ©REDITS:
Christian Bale: Lionsgate, 1999; Ingrid Bergman: Sierra Pictures,1947; Jeff Bridges: Disney, 1981; Charlie Cox: Marvel, 2014; Dirty Dancing : Vestron Pictures, 1986; James Dean: Warner Bros, 1954;: Mia Farrow: Paramount, 1967; Harrison Ford: Warner Bros, 1981; Freaky Friday: Disney, 2024; Richard Gere: Paramount, 1981; Godzilla: Toho, 2022; Lily James: Rocket Science, etc, 2024; Angelina Jolie: Paramount, 2000; Elsa Lanchester: Universal, 1935; Toshirō Mifune: Toho, 1962; Leslie Nielsen: Paramount,1988; Nosferatu: Jofa-Atelier Berlin-Johannisthal,1921; Nosferatu: Focus Features, 2023; Robocop : Orion Pictures, 1986 ; The Running Man: TAFT Entertainment, 1986; Sissy Spacek: United Artists, 1976; Superman: DC Studios, 2024; Wolf Man: Universal, 1941; Rachel Zegler: Disney, 2022.