- Brian Haley, Wings, TV, 1995-1996. Despite Lowell being written for him, Church quit after 123 episodes to head Ned and Stacy on Fox. With Lowell written into the Witness Protection Program, Haley took over as a new mechanic for the Nantucket Airline – and dumped after eight episodes. Also in Church’s new series, lasting just 45 shows, was Gregg Germann who had been in the mix for Brian Michael Hackett on Wings.
- Greg Kinnear, The Gift, 2000. Not this time, said director Sam Raimi. And, indeed, he called him back to be Sandman in Spider-Man 3, 2006.
- Dermot Mulroney, About Schmidt, 2001. Sorry, not this time eithewr, said auteur Alexander Payne, hinting at a future movie role…Yeah, sure, thought Church, retiring (at 43), tohis ranchwith, maybe, some voice-over work. However,Payne never forgot – and gave him a lead(and an Oscar nomination) in Sideways, 2004. Leading to theSpider-Man 3 villain.
- Greg Kinnear, Little Miss Sunshine, 2005. Bill Murray and Robin Williams were first/second choices for Richard Hoover, trying to teach nine-step programmes when he’s barely at three. And father of little Miss Abigail Breslin, teaching her co-dysfunctionals about life. National Lampoon’s Family Vacation with soul, said Rolling Stone’s Peter Travers. Church, Alec Baldwin, David Duchovny, Ray Romano nearly Hoovered. Michael Ardnt quit his job as Matthew Broderick’s assistant to pen the script – and won the for best original screenplay. His next credits included such pears as Toy Story 3, Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens!
- Zach Galifianakis, The Hangover, 2008. “We can’t find Doug!” No one knew that losing the bridegroom after his stag night would smash comedy records. And go on to a three movie franchise. So… #1. Knowall Jack Black passed. #2. Church, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jonah Hill were looked over with apparent askance. #3. Alan was retooled to suit the exuberant Zach The Greek.
- William C Macy, A Single Shot, 2011. William C Macy, A Single Shot, 2012.Oh boy, the wannabe Coen Brothers thriller is as misjudged as Macy as the cliché baddy in an obvious wig, cheap plaid jacket and floral (!) tie, a limp, a gammy arm and the shakes. As one critic (whose name I have lost) put it: “All that’s missing are ill-fitting dentures.” The novelist could not blame the scripter – same guy! And he should remain anonymous.
- Christophe Waltz, Big Eyes, 2013. The true tale of the US painter Margaret Keane and the husband who claimed credit for all her work (Colette’s husband Willy did the same about her books) was first aimed at Kate Hudson-Thomas Haden Church, then Reese Witherspoon-Ryan Reynolds and, finally, Amy Adams and the German double-Oscar winner, Christoph Waltz. Their director, Tim, Burton, was a Keane art collector and commissioned portraiats from her of his lovers, Helena Bonham Carter and Lisa-Marie.
Birth year: Death year: Other name: Casting Calls: 7