Goldie Hawn

  1. Jeannine Riley, Li’l Abner, TV, 1967.
    Goldie meets  the casting couch syndrome… 50 years before Harvey Weinstein scandal and  the resultant Me Too movement… The Li’l Abner cartoonist Al Capp had guys like Bobby looking out  on the street for fresh girls for him. “He’s a national institution,” Bobby  said  as he invited her to meet Capp, casting  his new creation, Tenderleaf Ericcson, in a Li’l  pilot. “Al Capp is going to make  you a big star,”  Bobby  told the young  dancer at the World’s Fair Texas Pavilion. At Capp’s 400 Park Avenue apartment, she  read for Tenderleaf and then – “but she’s the lead!” – for Daisy Mae.  “Let me see your legs.”    She raised her skirt.  “Higher…   Higher.” Then, recalls Goldie,  Capp   “parted his silk robe to reveal a flaccid penis resting against his wooden leg.” She told him: “Mr Capp, I will never, ever get a job like this.”  “Then go back and marry  a Jewish dentist,” he spat at her.  “I’ve had them  all, you know, much better than  you… get the hell out of here,” throwing a $20 bill at  her  for her train to Long Island.  It was another  two years before Capp’s pilot was seen. Goldie cabled congratulations: “As you can see I didn’t have to marry a Jewish dentist after all.”  Capp tried another  pilot in 1971.  Also flaccid.

  2. Mia Farrow, Rosemary’s Baby, 1968.    That would have been one giggly baby! Talk about off-beat. The Laugh-In giggler tested with Disney’s Dean Jones.
  3. Claire Polan, Five the Hard Way, 1968.   Aftefr starting her rise,  thanks to TV’s Laugh-In, Goldie happily happily auditioned for  her  second movie –   the directing debut of her lover, ex-dancer Gus Trikonis..  She had no chance, poor girl, as Ms Polan was wed to Ross Hagen, the leading man… and   producer!  Claire who?  For her very next film, The Cactus Flower, 1969, Goldie won a support Oscar – and then wed Trjkonis.  He has 46 other directing credits, mainly for TV episodes.
  4. Jane Seymour, Live and Let Die, 1973.
  5. Karen Black, Day of the Locust, 1974.    One bad year for Goldie. The protracted filming of (the hardly seen) The Girl From Petrovka played havoc with her schedule.
  6. Cybill Shepherd, Taxi Driver, 1975.
  7. Barbara Harris, Family Plot, 1975.   Goldie, Liza Minnelli and – surprise, surprise! – even Beverly Sills (“America’s Queen of Opera”) were in Alfred Hitchcock’s frame for Blanche in, alas, his final film. Until he fell – again – for Harris, a delightful actress he had tried to hire in the past. Hitchcock as prepping The Short Night when he died, at age 80, on April 29, 1980.
  8. Susan Sarandon, Pretty Baby, 1977.  The plot sickens… A prostitute allows her 12-year-old  daughter’s virginity to be auctioned off in a brothel in the red-light Storyville district of  New Orleans, circa 1917. Elegant French director Louis Malle saw 29possible pretty Violets – and another 19 actresses for her mother: Candice Bergen, Cher, Julie Christie, Glenn Close (passed), Faye Dunaway, Mia Farrow, Farrah Fawcett (passed), Jane Fonda (with Jodie Foster as her daughter), Goldie Hawn (preferred Foul Play), Anjelica Huston, Diane Keaton, Sylvia Kristel (Emmanuelle, herself),   Liza Minnelli, Cybil Shepherd, Sissy Spacek, Meryl Streep, Sigourney Weaver. Plus Joan Collins, who suggested Jasmine Maimone,  her screen daughter in that year’s Magnum Cop,  would  make a fine Violet. Louis  Malle and Sarandon became lovers and also made Atlantic City, 1980… the year he married Bergen until his 1995 death.
  9. Valerie Perrine, Superman, 1977.
  10. Liza Minnelli, Arthur, 1980.     Brand new auteur Steve Gordon knew exactly who was perfect. Dudley Moore as the titular rich drunk man-child and Minnelli as his lady. Orion Pictures also considered Goldie, Mia Farrow, Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, Barbara Hershey, Diane Keaton, Jessica Lange, Kay Lenz (1972’s Breezy, already looking for a comeback), Bette Midler, Gilda Radner, Susan Sarandon, Cybill Sehpherd… even Meryl Streep, Debra Winger. Plus Tuesday Weld – in the throes of divorcing the titular Dud.  Gordon made it a big hit, but never a second film – he died at 44 in 1982.
  11. Kate Jackson, Making Love, 1981.  Goldie felt too much of the dramatic tale would need to be changed because of her comedy image.  Enter: Jackson, with her Charlie’s Angels image!  Pauline Kael called it: ineffable.

  12. Jessica Lange, Frances,1982.     
    Howard Hawks  said  she always seemed to be shining. “More talent than anyone I ever worked with.” She and Vivien Leigh were beaten by Ingrid Bergman to For Whom The Bell Tolls, 1942.   She’s the subject of various books, plays (viz Sally Clarke’s Saint Frances of Hollywood),  pop and rock songs  – French-Canadian singer Mylène Farmer even took her name. All actresses loved her talent and guts (when wrongfully committed to asylums by her parents) and  wanted to ply…  Frances Farmer.  From the sublime to the ridiculous: Meryl Streep to Susan Dey  of TV’s Partridge Family.    Kim Basinger tested with Sam Shepard (Lange’s husband). Undaunted Susan Blakely made her own 1983  TVersion (from Farmer’s book, Will There Really Be A Morning?). Plus Anne Archer, Blythe Danner, Patty Duke, Mia Farrow, Sally Field, Jane Fonda, Goldie Hawn, Glenda Jackson, Diane Keaton, Liza Minnelli, Katharine Ross, Susan Sarandon, Cybill Shepherd, Sissy Spacek, Tuesday Weld, Natalie Wood. Plus Constance Money, who met  with  producer  Mel Brooks and debuting director Graeme Clifford. They liked her. Not her CV. Seven porno fikms in three years.  Even if they used her real name (Sue Jensen), someone would have blown an expensive whistle about her hardcore career.

  13. Elizabeth McGovern, Once Upon a Time in America, 1982.   Italian maestro Sergio Leoneclaimed he interviewed “over 3,000 actors,” taping 500 auditions for the 110 speaking roles in his New York gangster epic.  He certainly saw 33 girls for nymphet Deborah Gelly: Rosanna Arquette, Kim Basinger, Jennifer Beals, Linda Blair, Glenn Close, Jamie Lee Curtis, Geena Davis, Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, Bridget Fonda, Jodie Foster, Melanie Griffith, Linda Hamilton, Daryl Hannah, Goldie Hawn, Mariel Hemingway, Diane Lane, Jessica Lange, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Heather Locklear, Kristy McNIchol, Liza Minnelli, Tatum O’Neal, Michelle Pfeiffer, Meg Ryan, Susan Sarandon, Cybill Shepherd, Sissy Spacek, Meryl Streep, Kathleen Turner, Sigourney Weaver, Debra Winger. Plus Brooke Shields as the younger version. Deborah was 15 in the first script; McGovern was 20.
  14. Kate Jackson, Making Love, 1982.     Blame it on the fans… Goldie was game to escape her image and be the wife finding out that hubby is bi, maybe gay. But she knew her image would spoil it.

  15. Linda Hamilton, The Terminator, 1983.       
    In all, 55 actresses were considered, seen or tested for Sarah Connor (aged 18; Linda was 27) opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger. James Cameron auteured Sarah for Bridget Fonda. She passed; so did Tatum O’Neal.     He decided to go older… and Glenn Close won – her schedule didn’t agree. OK, Kate Capshaw! No, she was tied to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom – and Kathleen Turner was Romancing The Stone. Debra Winger won her audition,   said yes… then no. The other 48 ladies were The ’80s Group: Rosanna Arquette, Kim Basinger, Christy Brinkley, Colleen Camp, Jamie Lee Curtis, Geena Davis, Judy Davis, Mia Farrow, Carrie Fisher, Jodie Foster, Teri Garr, Jennifer Grey, Melanie Griffith, Darryl Hannah, Barbara Hershey, Anjelica Huston, Amy Irving, Diane Keaton, Margot Kidder, D
    iane Lane, Jessica Lange, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kay Lenz, Heather Locklear, Lori Loughlin, Kelly McGillis, Kristy McNichol, Michelle Pfeiffer, Deborah Raffin, Meg Ryan, Susan Sarandon, Ally Sheedy, Cybill Shepherd, Brooke Shields, Sissy Spacek, Sharon Stone,     Lea Thompson, Sigourney Weaver… one aerobics queen, Bess Motta (she became Sarah’s room-mate, Ginger Ventura), two singers (Madonna, Liza Minnelli), two Brits (Miranda Richardson, Jane Seymour), five essentially funny girls, Goldie Hawn, Rhea Perlman (Mrs Danny De Vito), Gilda Radner, Mary Tyler Moore…plus the new MTM, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, from Saturday Night Live. Most were in contention again a few years later for Fatal Attraction (won by Close) and The Accused (going to Foster and McGillis). Ten years later (after T2), Linda gave birth to Cameron’s daughter and Josephine’s parents wed in 1997… for two years.

  16. Lily Tomlin, All Of Me, 1984.     An exchange of Laugh In graduates for Phil Auden Robinson’s script – no Field of Dreams.
  17. Jane Fonda, Supergirl, 1984.  Dolly Parton was offered $7m – and Jane Fonda, Melanie Griffith, Goldie Hawn rather less  – when chased by the Salkind producers to play the power-hungry villainess, Selena, in the, alas, flop film about Superman’s cousin, Kara Zor-El. Alas because the Salkinds then sold their Super-rights to Cannon (hence the ecremental Superman IV) and poor Kara was not seen on-screen again until the TV series…31 years later!
  18. Rosanna Arquette, Desperately Seeking Susan, 1985.     Warner’s idea of casting young. Goldie was 40.
  19. Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction, 1987.
  20. Kate Jackson, Making Love, 1981.  Goldie felt too much of the dramatic tale would need to be changed because of her comedy image.  Enter: Jackson, with her Charlie’s Angels image!  Pauline Kael called it: ineffable.

  21. Kelly McGillis, The Accused, 1988.  Paramount suits saw 40 young actresses for the (real life) gang rape victim. Or, their own rape bait fantasies… such as 16-year-old Alyssa Milano! And a further 27 for her lawyer. Including Fatal Attraction also-rans from Hawn, Geena Davis, Tuesday Weld – to Diane Keaton Meryl Streep and Debra Winger, who were offered both roles. Plus Beverly D’Angelo, Blythe Danner, Sally Field, Carrie Fisher, Teri Garr, Mary Gross, Barbara Hershey, Kathleen Turner, Sigourney Weaver, Dianne Wiest. A 1982 rape victim herself, McGillis refused the lead. She had no wish to revisit the horror and pain of her own assault six years earlier. She had no wish to revisit the horror and pain of her own assault six years earlier. Obviously. However, she agreed to play Sarah’s defence attorney – on condition that the studio-described “unsexy” Jodie, and no one else, played Sarah! The suits caved, tested Foster and the rest is Oscar history… dated March 29, 1989.
  22. Melanie Griffith, Working Girl, 1988.  “If you ever want to make money, do Cinderella,” said Mike Nichols. Even better if he’s directing – despite a coke-head  star. (He made Her Highness Melanie Griffith pay $80,000 from her salary for having to close down shooting one night due to her wasted condition). Fox never wanted her, anyway, but Njchols was Nichols; he ruled. “She incarnated Tess and there was no great version of the movie without her,” declared producer Douglas Wick.   The earliest notion was Madonna. Mike rang producer Douglas Wick: ”Turn on your TV. Madonna’s on The Tonight  Show.  See what you think of her…” They also saw Lorraine Bracco (devastated after, she thought nailing her test), Goldie Hawn (bit old at 43), Diane Lane, Shelley Long, Demi Moore, Sarah Jessica Parker.  Plus Michelle Pfeiffer and Meryl Streep for Tess or her wicked witch boss, Katharine; won by Sigourney Weaver. (Some 26 years later, Griffith’s daughter, Dakota Johnson, headed the darker and, supposedly, more erotic version of the office power-play tale in Fifty Shades of Grey).
  23. Lily Tomlin, Big Business, 1988.     Goldie in Shakespeare!!! The two sets of twin sisters in this modern update of The Comedy Of Errors were written for Goldie and Barbra Streisand. That they didn’t accept them  is best explained in Chicago critic Roger  Ebert’s review: “This ought to have inspired a funny movie, but instead… it inspires… an endless and dreary series of scenes in which the various twins just barely miss running into each other.”
  24. Joan Cusack, My Blue Heaven, 1990.     Although Nora Ephron wrote the DA for her, Goldie simply exec-produced and waited two more years before joining Steve Martin on-screen. And Housesitter was not worth the wait.
  25. Kelly Lynch, Curly Sue, 1990.    “That was another movie that started out as one movie and ended up being another movie entirely,” reported Kelly. “But a great experience… like a throwback to one of those Depression-era movies that you’d seen Jean Harlow in.”   Kirstie Alley, Geena Davis, Laura Dern, Linda Hamilton (off shooting Terminator 2) , Goldie Hawn, Sigourney Weaver also suggested for  the cynical Chicago lawyer missed up with a Paper Moon II act: James Belushi and  young Alisan Porter.  Critic Roger Ebert fell for John Hughes’ final film  – “could have been written by Damon Runyon, illustrated by Norman Rockwell and filmed by Frank Capra.”
  26. Geena Davis, Thelma & Louise, 1990.
  27. Sally Kirkland, JFK, 1991.
  28. Chistine Lahti, Leaving Normal, 1992.     Thelma & Louise The Allternative Version… Faced with an onslaught of requests from Goldie, Barbara Hershey and apparently Jessica Lange. (Like Goldie, Lange had been up,for the Ridley Scott classic).   Edward Zwick said his decision “was entirely visceral. Christine has many colours as an actress that are right for this role” of a free-spirited waitress. And, at 40, she was also, ssh, the youngest chasing it.
  29. Dolly Parton, Straight Talk, 1992.     “I had it for seven years,” said Dolly. “Bette had it. Then, Goldie and Julia. In the end, I had to say: Can I have my script back?” Not that it did her (or James Woods) much good. Dolly has not made another cinema movie.
  30. Patty Duke, Last Wish, TV, 1992.     Betty Rollins’ 1985 best-seller about assisting her mother to die became a (standard) tele-flick when Goldie’s much-travelled option lapsed. No takers at Warners, MGM or Disney.

  31. Wendy Crewson, The Santa Clause, 1994.    For the  ex-wife of Tim Allen – the man who killed Santa! – Disney  looked at Crewson, Hawn,Kate Burton, Patrica Clarkson, Sally Field, Jennifer Grey, Patrica Heaton, Angelica Huston, Nicole Kidman, Mary McDonnell, Pamela Reed, Molly Ringwald, Julia Roberts  and Ally Sheedy.Joe Dante, Richard Donner, even Steven Spielberg were Disney’s dream wishes to direct.
  32. Kim Basinger, The Simpsons#208:  When You Dish Upon A Star,TV, 1998. Since its 1989 birth, the yellowtoon family Simpson smashed records for episodes, audiences, and the most guest stars (as themselves or others). Not all celebs played ball.  Bruce Willis refused a second invite – and his then-wife, Demi Moore, with him. Other candidates for the celeb couple were Tom Cruise-Nicole Kidman, Kurt Russell-Goldie Hawn and Alec Baldwin-Kim Basinger, who said: Sure! Eventually leading Baldwin’s unknown funny-bone into 30 Rock, 2006-2013.
  33. Farrah Fawcett, Dr T and the Women, 2000.  From the outset, Goldie was set as the wife of the pussy-whipped gynaecologist Richard Gere with her own daughter, Kate Hudson, as her daughter. Kate stayed firm with  her Lesbian kissing scene while Goldie quit due to the breakdown  sequence where Mrs T strips naked in a shopping mall. 
  34. Shelley Long, Dr T and the Women, 2000. Director Robert Altman then offeed her Carolyn, Dr T’s devoted nurse who runs his office and fancies herself as his wife. Altman came thisclose to  calling the film… Pussy.
  35. Nathalie Baye, Absolument Fabuleux, France, 2000.     The first attempt to transfer AbFab to the big screen came from Goldie and Bette Midler – at Disney. Creator Jennifer Saunders pulled out, positive that Hollywood would dilute the political incorrectness “and make it unfunny.” Warners did exactly that (and worse) with a US TVersion, High Society, with Mary McDonnell, Jean Smart.Then, Saunders inexplicably allowed the French to make a right merde out of it. Goldie and Midler got it on with First Wives Club, 1996.

  36. Renée Zellweger, Chicago, 2002.
  37. Christine Baranski, Chicago, 2002.

  38. Meg Foster,The Lords of Salem, 2012.   Apparently Gioldie did not wish to be Margaret Morgan, the leader – as  web critic Robert Barbere  put it,  of  “a coven of cavorting naked hagsperforming a Rosemary’s Baby type of birthing ritual.”   And why would Rob Zombie think she would wish to join his fifth highly-70s hardcore horror numbers that never quite add up.  Nor did cutting Udo Kier out of the film.
  39. Jane Fonda, This Is Where I Leave You, 2013.   Like directors, the actresses kept changing. Only Kathryn Hahn survived the shuffling… to  discover if  there’s anything worse than your father dying, it’s going home for the funeral  – a whole week with  an over-sharing mother, siblings, spouses, exes and assorted wannabes.
  40. Emily Blunt, Into The Woods, 2013.  











 Birth year: Death year: Other name: Casting Calls:  40