Mike Myers

Posted on 6 November 2023by Tony CrawleyCategories:Actors

Matthew Lillard, Scooby-Doo, 2001. Jay Kogen did a live-action script of the old Hanna-Barbera cartoon ghost-chasers and their cowardly dog.Myers sent up their predictable finales in Wayne’s World, then gave up being Shaggy for Austin Powers: TheSpy Who Shagged Me.
Sam Rockwell, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, 2001. Worst career decision since Harrison Ford pulled out of Traffic. Myers passed onUS TV Chuck Barris who claimed to have been a CIAssassin while hosting his Gong Show. Ironically, Sam hadfinanced his way through acting school by working as a part-time private dick, keeping tabs oncheating spouses. “I was driving the car, and my friend was videotaping. It was really sleazy. I think we made $50 or something. All that stuff helps with acting though.” Oh, really! (Myers finally dusted down his Barris schtick when playing the game-show host – re-named Tommy Maitland – in the ten-episode tele-Gong Show revival on ABC in 2017)
Johnny Depp, Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, 2004.
Myers was a rather obvious Tim Burton choice while awaiting news on whether Depp could come out and play… in their fifth partnership in 15 years. Tim’s 31 other fancies for chocolatier Willy Wonka were his ole Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton. Plus Rowan Atkinson, Dan Aykroyd, Nicolas Cage, Jim Carrey, Chevy Chase, Warwick Davis, Robert De Niro, James Gandolfini, Dwayne Johnson, Ian McKellen, Marilyn Manson, Steve Martin, Rik Mayall, Bill Murray, John Neville, Leslie Nielsen, Brad Pitt, Peter Sallis, Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld, Will Smith, Patrick Stewart, Ben Stiller, Christopher Walken, Robin Williams. And the surviving Monty Python crew (also up for the 1970 version): John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin. Among the five exec producers, author Roald Dahl’s widow, Liccy, wanted her husband’s favourite Willy – Dustin Hoffman. If not possible she voted for UK comics, Eddie Izzard or David Walliams. She was quite happy with Depp… who found Willy’s voice while riffing on a stoned George W Bush!
Steve Martin, The Pink Panther, 2006. Both Martin and Myers were fans of Peter Sellers. Surely, reason enough not to trash his genius.
Will Ferrell, Bewitched, 2004. Enjoying his 15 minutes after the worlds of Wayne Campbell, Austin Powers and Shrek, Myers was first choice for the tele-witch’s husband in the unrequired film of the 1968-1972 series. Because, said the suits, he resembled Dick York, TV’s Darrin, and was, therefore, more accepeable than anyone else… like Will Ferrell, for example!
Steve Martin, The Pink Panther, 2005. Both Martin and Myers were fans of Peter Sellers. Surely, reason enough not to trash his genius. Kevin Kline – even Chris Tucker – were much better ideas for the Inspector Clouseau reboot than The King of Paltry Re-makes.
Ben Stiller, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 2013. During the 20 year life of trying to re-make Danny Kaye’s 1946 version of the 1939 James Thurber short story… Myers was in talks after the (first) departures of Jim Carrey and Stiller. Next? Sacha Baron Cohen, Owen Wilson as directors switched between Steven Spielberg and Ron Howard. Ultimately, Stiller starred and directed… reducing Mitty’s daydreams and giving him a real adventure – almost as if this was a sequel to some unseen re-make.

Birth year: Death year: Other name: Casting Calls: 7

WELCOME

to the films the stars did not make. The movies that never were. The most definitive collation of casting stories. Check up on all the films - of yesterday, today and tomorrow - that your favourite stars never made... A cast of thousands - 8,063 actors - to click on... More than 40 years in the making! And 2,777,633 words of spirited text.

The ultimate in movie trivia ... Better! Exactly the kind of history that Hollywood deserves. Back to front. Upside-down. Inside out. Full of flashbacks, close-ups, tracking shots (and, alas some badly edited sequences - sorry about that!) forming a fascinating, new and often bizarre flip-side perspective on your treasured movies and stars

HE SAID

“They’re doing stuff, but not with me. I’m not doing any more.” – Adam Driver on no more Kylo Ren/Ben Solo ... Or is it that there will be no more Star Wars?

“I’ve been acting for 42 years and then you make one cocktail…” – Stanley Tucci on his new fame as a TV food and cookery expert.

"The point is it's very hard work and you have to really want to do it. It has to be something that you're burning to say." – Martin Scorsese on directing at 80 and thinking “possibly only one more”.

“Whether you are a competent actor, or an artist, is incidental. The main business is: you’re product. I had a hard time steadying myself against that stuff.” – Robert Redford.

“I’ve never done the same thing twice and how many people can say that?” – Tom Hanks… forgetting his two successive Oscars.

“I was so excited when I got the script for Silent Night. There’s no dialogue in the entire movie! I thought this would be very good for me because it lets me use my gifts for telling a story visually. – John Woo on his Hollywood comeback at 77.

“I’ve gotta be nice about Marvel movies, because I named myself after a Stan Lee character named Luke Cage. What am I going to do, put Marvel movies down? Stan Lee is my surrealistic father.” – Nic Cage.

“The man who invented mornings was no Christian.” – Peter O’Toole.

“The moustache did the acting.” – Anthony Hopkins on Howards End.

“It’s very difficult to get 100 million people to watch anything,” – writer-director Joe Russo.

“I gave him a little part in Looper, where he got to be shot in the face by Bruce Willis. He was just so overjoyed… like a little kid.” – director Rian Johnson on his father.

“I'm not an actor - and I've got 64 films to prove it!” – Victor Mature.

“If you cast it right, you don’t have to tell the actors what to do.” – John Huston.

CCC CLIPS

>> Name Game. James Spader really started something with his Blacklist series. He played – remember? – Reddington. And now we have Austin Butler and, Emma Stone are in making Eddington… and newbie Glenn Powell is Huntingdon, his tenth gig since Top Gun: Maverick. Perhaps it’s time to re-issue Carrington… with, among others, Steven Waddington!

>> Christopher Nolan says “No, sadly no – no truth to those rumours.” About making the next Bond. So, no Cillian Murphy as Jimbo, then?

>> Rolling Stone. Those Poor Things, Emma Stone and Willem Dafoe, are – naturally – in the next release of their Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos. It’s Emma’s third Yorgos collaboration. Most likely she’ll be in his next one, too, a re-make of the South Korean hit, Save the Green Planet. That was a comedy. But one can never categorise a Lanthimos experience. After all this one was first titled… And.

>> Taylor Swift’s guy, US football superstar Travis Kelce, is making moves on movies. To be as famous as Dwayne Johnson. Although people are now beginning to ask: Dwyane Whosis?

>>Brandon Routh was Superman back in the day. Today he’s in…Ick.

>> A star sure was born! Lady Gaga now getting $10million for Joker 2…

>> Sean Ono Lennon says Emma Stone should play his dad. Now there’s a thought. After all, Cate Blanchett played Bob Dylan…

>> Sly Stallone has come this far without bothering with serial killers but that’s what he’s chasing in The Epiphany. He plays a retiring cop - what else at 78?

>> Thirty years after the first, Neve Campbell returns in Scream 7. She refused #6 over a money row…

>> Beatles director Sam Mendes made Skyfall and Spectre and another actor who has played John Lennon, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, might yet be the next 007…

>> Ryan Gosling tipped to be join the Marvelverse. (They need him more than he them). Henry Cavill may follow – so definitely no Bond then. Not after Argylle. If anyone witnessed that accident, could they call the appropriate authorities.

>> Will Smith comes back (or so he hopes) in an almost suicide squad blasting drug dealers in Sugar Bandits… while Colin Farrell settles for just Sugar – back to his usual smoothie looks after The Penguin…

>> White Lotus 3 resurrects Parker Posey, Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Charlotte Le Bon, Scott Glenn and introduces Patrick Schwarzenegger. But which one is going to flash…something?

CHAMPION'S LEAGUE

The battle for the top spot between Marlon Brando and Jack Nicholson has – I think – come to an end. Recently, we‘ve seen Marlon leading Jack by one or two movies – and then, almost immediately, vice-versa. The gap is much wider now between the former Mulholland Drive neighbours. Latest research dug up more titles for Jack - Mr Mom, A Christmas Story, Striptease, The Bicentennial Man, Expend4bles – so that he is now safe (?) at the top of league with 177 films he chose not to make compared to Brando’s 172. But you know - you never know…

(The full list of their huge lists of bypassed films are not on their pages for now - one of the hassles being tackled in our - yes, very slow! – restructuring).

Marlon Brando – 177
Jack Nicholson – 172
Paul Newman – 160
Cary Grant – 150
Robert De Niro – 140
Tom Cruise – 135
Dustin Hoffman – 126
Mel Gibson – 118
Sean Connery, Al Pacino – 117

Highest Brit remains, as always, Sir Sean at 117… followed by Laurence OIivier, 93; Richard Burton, 87; Peter O’Toole, 79; Elizabeth Taylor, 73; Peter Sellers, 72; Dirk Bogarde and James Mason, 68; Olivia De Havilland, 58; Vivien Leigh and Gary Oldman, 57.

Highest lady is Bette Davis, 97; Jodie Foster, 84; Michelle Pfeiffer, 81; Katharine Hepburn, 79; Julie Christie, 76; Meryl Streep, 75; Elizabeth Taylor, 73; Nicole Kidman, 72: Jane Fonda, 70; Julia Roberts, 68.

Younger Brigade: Johnny Depp 108; Leo, 75; Jim Carrey, 70; Madonna, 62; Natalie Portman, 57; Aishawarya Rai Bachchan, 40; Bridget Fonda, 36: Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, Uma Thurman, 35; Jake Gyllenhall, 33: Ben Affleck, 31.

(You'll find the full list at Champions in the Main Menu)

A BOND MISS

Is Léa Seydoux now a spy…or, to be more polite, a talent scout for Eon Productions? 007’s girl in both Spectre and No Time to Die appears to assisting the (rather quiet) search for the next Jimbo. In La bête (The Beast), one of her many new French films, Léa co-stars with Hammersmith’s George MacKay - Sam Mendes’ find for 1917. He learned French for the film, so this may not be his last Paris booking.

As Gabrielle and Louis, they work extremely well together as star-crossed lovers in three time-lines: 1904, 1914 and 2044. And he looks the business in his retro tuxedo. ‘Twould be fascinating to cast an eye over her report for Barbara Broccoli’s eyes only. On verra as Léa (and now even George) would say. We’ll see.

SHE SAID

“You need your parents to set boundaries and hold you accountable and keep you away from, like, weird people.” – Scarlett Johansson on surviving as a child actor.

“I was so deeply in love with Bella, it terrified me not to live up to her as a character. I felt like I was failing her in the first week, and failing Yorgos [Lanthimos]. ). It was just difficult. I could talk to him about it, but I couldn’t talk to her about it. “ – Emma Stone on making Poor Things, leading to her second Oscar.

“Everything was so beautiful up on that screen. That make-believe world was much more pleasant than anything I was experiencing. I didn’t like reality. I wanted to be in the movies, even though I knew I didn’t look like the other women on the screen. My mother said, ‘you better learn to type,’ but I didn’t listen. Somehow, some way, thank you God, it all came true.” – Barbra Streisand, receiving lifetime achievement honour from the Screen Actors Guild.

“If I arrive at a moment in the history of cinema where I am legally obliged to have some kind of police on my set telling me what I’m allowed to do, I would rather stop filming sex scenes completely.” – French director Mia Hansen-Løve.

“I’m not one to sit around doin’ nothin’, I would never retire, I’ll just hopefully drop dead in the middle of a song onstage, someday, hopefully one I’ve written.” – Dolly Parton.

“Playing it safe doesn’t necessarily get you anywhere. You have to take chances. especially if you’re a black woman. You have no choice.” – Halle Berry.

“The more famous an actress becomes, the less she's allowed to eat.” – Lana Turner.

“I don’t do T&A very well because I haven’t got much of either.” – Tea Leoni.

“I was an idiot in terms of career-building, but I had a great time.” – Sally Kellerman.

“As you get older, you realise your parents aren't these superheroes. They're actually people.” – Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.

“Everybody thought I was crazy. And by the way, I thought I was crazy.” – Jennifer Lopez on spending $20m of her own money on making This Is Me … Now: A Love Story.

“It’s dangerous to repeat performances. It becomes the sole thing on your gravestone.” – Helen Mirren on playing The Queen in The Queen and on stage in The Audience.

“I think I was offered every Marilyn Monroe script ever. I was like: Is this the end of the road creatively?’” – Scarlett Johansson on surviving as a star.

WAIT & SEE...

This is such a busy year for movies that various releases have been postponed until 2025… Captain America: Brave New World, Bong Joon-ho’s Mickey 17, Games of Thrones spin-off The Hedge Knight (not about a gardener), Ke Huy Quan’s actioner With Love, John Wick’s spin-off, Ballerina, Fast X :part 2, Avatar 3, Jurassic World 4, Black Mirror 7, Mission: Impossible 8, Fantastic Four, Superman and the dreaded Michael bio – more like horror film, surely. Oh and no The Batman 2 or Harry P TV series until 2026.